Spiral Into Fate

surrender

2011-05-23T15:32:00.000-04:00

i have taken this failed experiment as far as i can. soon, i have resolved to surrender my voice and my face for a number and a mark of rank, doomed to toil under the heel of my betters for a couple of decades. my only remaining desire is for death to claim me at war, or at the very least on the open seas. it would be fitting, i think, for my bones to rest somewhere in the vast cold ocean. but, as my luck is ill, i will likely survive the ordeal, perhaps broken in body, and continue to walk the earth as a bitter and unhappy old man.

true honor has been lost to me for a long time; all that remains is to collect grubby coinage in trade for the remaining mediocre years of my unlife.

"meanwhile, in x..."

2011-02-07T10:46:00.000-05:00

Somewhere in the chaotic ether, a being stirred fitfully. Though the world outside was wracked with howling telluric currents and burning fragments of void, he was huddled in a serene bubble of his own making, outside of space and time. He watched with concern, but was waiting for something. It never came. And now his power was waning and the bubble he created was collapsing. Every day it grew smaller and smaller. He had nowhere to leap to, though, so he continued to hold out, rationing the last of his energy, hoping against hope for the thing he was waiting for.

Actually, he did have one place to jump, but down that way was a road full of suffering and servitude. It was a low road through a fetid zone filled with darkness and unforgiving madness. He realized that perhaps it was the only way left to him. Still, he searched the horizon for any hopeful sign. The breaking point was so, so very close.

He closed his eyes and meditated in silence, while his quiet space continued to close down on him.

Curtain Closing On Azeroth

2011-02-07T03:40:00.000-05:00

I've decided to take another long hiatus from Azeroth. Real life calls, but these fictional characters will remain in stasis. I've just characterized their hibernation with the preceding prose. Kind of a 'To Be Continued'.

Curtain Closing On Azeroth: Vignette 5

2011-02-07T03:37:00.002-05:00

The Salty Sailor tavern was humid and swelteringly hot, even though all the doors and windows were open. There seemed to be only one season in Booty Bay: hot. So a few bar patrons took a second look at the gnome woman that walked through the doorway. Her pink boartails bobbed as she strode in wearing full plate armor. The odd thing was, she wasn't sweating. Her skin was a bit pale and had a bluish tint to it; were it any other person, one might assume she was suffering from heat stroke and was about to pass out. One look at her eyes explained why she wasn't.

The gnome's eyes glowed with a pale, cold blue light. Her armor was subtly rimed with frost, even in the humid heat. Eerie runes danced along the head of her axe. Regular patrons of the Sailor knew that the seemingly cheerful smile on this gnome's face was not necessarily indicative of good humor.

This diminutive creature was a death knight named Cryolite, and woe be it to any who underestimated her. She died sometime during the Third War, was raised under thrall of the Lich King and was freed years afterwards. After regaining her free will, she joined the campaign in Northrend to overthrow the Lich King.

Cryolite clambered up into her usual seat at a table towards the back of the bar, facing the door and with a clear view of the overhead walkways. She laid her blood caked axe on the table in plain view of all. Bits of gore still clung, frozen, to its broad face. She ordered an ale from the goblin barman, Nixxrax Fillamug. It arrived piss warm, as all beer in Booty Bay customarily arrived, but as soon as she laid her hands on the mug, it frosted over.

"Coldest beer in town, Nixx," she said, with some sort of unnatural echo in her voice that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Her smile stayed eerily fixed. Nixx got chills every time she smiled at him like that. He ducked back behind the bar and pretended to wipe out mugs.

A cloaked figure walked silently through the doorway and paused for several moments. She seemed to be scanning the whole of the building. She then turned around and walked back out.

Cryolite cheerfully called out for Nixx to bring her a wine glass, which only drew a nervous, if blank stare.

"Of course they wouldn't have one in this dive," said a soft, musical voice from behind Cryolite.

Cryolite pushed out a chair to her right with her short legs.

"Have a seat, blood elf."

"Keep your voice down, fool. Do you want to get us both killed?"

The cloaked figure from before walked from behind Cryolite and sat down.

The gnome fixed her uncanny smile on the cloaked figure, who remained hooded. Anyone looking closely would see the points of two ears tenting up the hood, and some locks of shiny, golden blonde hair spilling out. In the depths of the hood, faintly glowing green eyes glared back at the gnome.

"You enjoy having me come to this dirty little backwater, don't you, death knight?" the blood elf said.

"Would you like something cold to drink?" asked the gnome mischievously. "The ale here is wonderful."

"I might as well slit my throat before I drink anything you give me. I brought my own." From beneath the cloak, two small, delicate gloved hands produced and opened a fine silver flask. It was coated with frost. "A little souvenir I took from home. The flask uses magic to keep its contents cold in the heat and hot in the cold."

"I don't suppose you'd care to sell it?" asked the gnome with a grin.

"Certainly not. This is an heirloom. I had to poison a lot of uncles to get it." The blood elf tilted her head back a bit to quaff from the flask. Any man looking into the hood at that moment would have seen the face of an exquisitely beautiful, aristocratic elfwoman. She wore a wicked half smile that somehow communicated bemusement, humorlessness, cruelty and beauty all at a glance.

"So do you have anything interesting at all to sell me?" said the gnome, with just the faintest tinge of steel in her tone.

"Of course I do, cretin. Here." Back into the depths of the cloak went the flask, and in turn emerged a good sized sack.

Cryolite's eyes narrowed in delight. She could sense some quality magical goods in the sack, and one particulary powerful item mutedly glowing through the thick cloth of the sack.

"Here's your gold," said the gnome as she tossed a heavy latched box into the air. It vanished into the folds of the blood elf's cloak before it hit the table.

"What of the 'other' matter we discussed?" said the blood elf after a pause.

"There's a note in the box," said Cryolite. "Read it after you leave." Cryolite took a swig from her mug. "It's been a-"

The chair where the blood elf sat was now suddenly empty.

"It's been a pleasure doing business with you Serenissa of Silvermoon," Cryolite said quietly to the air.

Curtain Closing On Azeroth: Vignette 4

2011-02-07T02:30:00.001-05:00

"I tink ve have vhat ve came for."

The draenei woman bent down to rifle through the bags of the slain cultists laying on the stone floor, finally pulling out a stack of clay tablets bound in rope. She held them up in the stuffy, hot air. They stood on a platform of rock, inside a vast underground cavern with rivers of hot magma flowing through it.

A silver-haired, tan human woman turned her hazel eyes to inspect the clay tablets; unsatisfied with the dull glow of the lava, she gestured and a glowing white wisp of light popped into existence while she briefly examined their prizes.

"Then let us be on our way, Ambassador," she said. The silver-haired woman raised a staff inscribed with glowing runes and began to chant with half lidded eyes. The air shimmered and the draenei woman's ears popped with pressure change.

"I vould make haste if I vere you, Silvergloh. Ve have company."

Across a rocky bridge connected to their platform, dark shapes moved at the edge of the wisp's light.

Silverglow did not change her expression as she continued to chant in measured tones.

The draenei woman tucked the clay tablets into her pack and drew two wicked looking axes that glowed meancingly with arcane potency. With an ululating battle cry, the draenei shaman seemed to grow taller as she lunged forward, axes at the ready. Mystical totems sprang from the earth at her feet and her body crackled with static electricity.

* * * * * *

In the Stormwind Mage Tower, a hole in space and time opened up. Or, rather, a new hole in space and time opened up, next to several others which were already open nearby. The sounds of explosions and ringing metal came from the portal. Silverglow stepped calmly through the portal and then to one side. There were other mages in the room, seemingly very intent on the books and bookshelves they were perusing. No one looked up. Silverglow waited calmly, smoothing out her robes.

Suddenly with a gout of flame and a shower of small rocks, the draenei female hurtled backwards out of the portal, her armor smoking from the fireball that hit her on the other side. Not one mage even so much as flinched. Springing up off the floor, Astraluna let out a fierce yell and sent a massive lightning bolt back through the portal from her hand, one that raised the hair on Silverglow's skin. Still no reaction from the other mages in the portal chamber.

Silverglow gestured, and the portal snapped shut.

"As subtle as always, Astraluna," she said. "We should bring the tablets to Shaw immediately. He will be quite interested in their contents."

* * * * * *

After teleporting directly to SI:7 headquarters, Silverglow and Astraluna waited for Mathias Shaw to arrive via portal from the Twilight Highlands. Drawn by cool fresh air, Silverglow went to a nearby open window. In the courtyard below, Alliance warriors and rogues drilled in formation and sparred in pairs and trios. She suddenly spotted the night elven warrior, Luminant, doing stretching exercises in the grass. The mage's cheeks flushed and she caught her breath. Luminant seemed to sense she was being watched and glanced in her direction, and Silverglow hastily stepped out of sight behind the casement, fingertips touching her collarbone as she composed herself. Her heart was pounding.

The sensation of a magical portal opening drew her attention back inside, and she hastily assumed an air of professional seriousness. Astraluna strode forward to greet the arriving leader of SI:7. Silverglow followed suit and mentally rehearsed to herself in preparation for giving her full report.

Curtain Closing On Azeroth: Vignette 3

2011-02-07T01:59:00.002-05:00

Water dripped from the cave ceiling. Starglow sat huddled next to her nightsaber, cloak draped tightly around her. The smell of evaporating seawater was trapped in here, heavy and musty. Her scarab beetle foraged for fungus a short distance away. She carefully tested the stringing on her crossbow. Operating underwater required quite a bit more upkeep than she cared for, and she was looking forward to completing her business in Vash'jir as soon as possible.

Still, seeing the sunken capital city was quite the treat, if unnervingly ominous. Although the city was quite beautiful, what haunted her the most was seeing the statues of the Vash'jiri nobility... especially that of Lady Vashj. She shut away the memories of Serpent Shrine Cavern before they could overwhelm her.

She forced herself to recall how being submerged gave the delicate Highborne architecture a different kind of beauty, with walls coated in plant life, and its grand avenues and tall archways populated by all manner of curious sea creatures. She loved riding her seahorse through the massive columns of jellyfish migrating closer to the surface to feed at night. She was soothed watching the gently swaying arms of giant red anemone as clownfish played amongst the deadly pink limbs. Or swimming alongside giant turtles foraging for food in the vast kelp forests. It was a shame that the water had to be clouded with the blood of dying naga and Twilight's Hammer cultists. War could be found even here on the floor of the sea.

Starglow's thoughts turned suddenly to her sister. She wondered what she was doing right now.

* * * * * * * *

Luminant paused in her attack routine, holding her strikes and her posture rock steady as she monitored her breathing and her heart rate. For an instant, she thought the training dummy almost had a relieved expression on its sack-cloth face. For no particular reason, she thought of her twin sister, Starglow.

Slowly returning to a stable stance, she began the breathing exercises which concluded her practice session. Her keen elven ears heard a bestial roar that sounded familiar somehow, coming perhaps from the clock tower? Maybe she was mistaken; after all, Azeroth was now suddenly overrun with worgen from Gilneas, and she knew few of them.

Luminant set her great axe and sword aside near her pile of gear, and then sat in the grass to stretch. Glancing overhead, she marveled at how clear the moon was against the night sky. All around her, other warriors and rogues trained and sparred in the cool evening. Looking towards the SI: 7 headquarters during her stretching, she thought she caught a glimpse of a familiar face from a casement, but it was gone before she could be sure.

Perhaps she would seek out Starglow after she finished up in Uldum. The Tol'vir military were eager for training, and were able warriors with much promise. They would be needed in the coming months of the long campaign. Deathwing was a significant threat, to be sure, but her time in Northrend told her that perhaps this was but the tip of the iceberg. She was certain that even victory over Deathwing would only reveal a new, stronger foe. Not that she minded, of course. She was born for battle, and was eager to test her might against any and all comers.

Of course, going to war with her sister was ever so much more fun; they were a very effective kill team. She thought fondly of the hundreds of skirmishes they fought together in Warsong Gulch. Yes, she would definitely look for her sister. After the heat of Uldum's desert sands, some time in Vash'jir would be a welcome change.

Curtain Closing On Azeroth: Vignette 2

2011-02-07T01:29:00.000-05:00

Nagi sat on her mekgineer's chopper at the foot of the grand stairs of the Cathedral of Light. The night was a bit chill but the warmth of her bike's exhaust kept her warm. It had been a gift from Tora, before he disappeared for nearly half a year. She suddenly felt eyes on her from somewhere and glanced up. Nothing but some clouds and the cold moon. She thought she heard some kind of animal roaring in the distance, but wasn't certain over the rumble of her engine. She pulled her cloak further over her platemail and examined the new axe she'd acquired as a gift from the Earthen.

She was startled by the sudden appearance of a night elf beside her.

"Gods, Sana. How do you do that?"

The lithe night elf merely smiled and proffered a steaming mug. She wore formal, embroidered elven robes and had a silver shawl slouched around her elbows and behind her waist.

"'Tis cool this evening, my friend. I've just made the orphans some hot cider. You should have some."

Nagi leaned over her bike to look at the nearby orphanage, also in Cathedral Square. Light spilled out from the open doorway, and the shadows of running children criss-crossed the yellow rectangle of light on the cobblestones.

"If only those children knew what a fierce warrior you were, Sana."

The night elf sighed and flipped her purple braided ponytail off her shoulder in annoyance.

"Those children have seen enough of war. They've no need for me to bring it into their home."

Small forms came running up behind Sana.

"Matron Sana! Who is that paladin?"
"Is that Nagi?"
"Who is it? Who is it?"

Nagi smiled brightly as she was swarmed by orphans. Sana briefly grinned and then set her mouth in a stern line and turned sharply to face the tiny horde.

"Children! Stop running this instant! And mind the machine or you'll get burned on the metal pipes again. By Elune, what a noisy, smelly thing it is."

Nagi chuckled and sipped her cider.

Curtain Closing On Azeroth: Vignette 1

2011-02-07T01:09:00.000-05:00

The moon rose cold and white over Stormwind City. High above the city streets, crowded with Lunar Festival revelers drunk on ale, Tora sat astride his violet protodrake, perched on the damaged clock tower. He tried to pull his wide brimmed hat further over his face to ward off the wind, but his new muzzle got in the way ... some things took a while to get used to since the change.

Where other men feared being turned into a bestial worgen, Tora sought it out, venturing deep into Gilneas in search of a sympathetic agent. Most of the Gilneans rightly considered the worgen curse undesirable, and so Tora had to seek out more ... ethically ambiguous ... persons to fulfill his unusual request.

He found what he sought, and was turned by a mangy, craven worgen, barely a step above feral, but desperate for gold. When he awoke, his purse was lighter, but he could tell by the ache in his bones and muscles that he had what he wanted. He wearily made his way to the nearby worgen coven, hidden under the roots of a massive tree in the heart of a foreboding Gilnean forest. There, he stayed for a time with the others, and learned the limits of his new cursed existence.

There were some perks to having the curse. He reveled in the feeling of sprinting through the forest on all fours, the night alive and detailed thanks to his newly enhanced senses of perception and hearing; before, such a world was the sole domain of the night elven druids. He enjoyed killing with his fangs and claws, perhaps a bit too much; his second, wolflike form gave him uncanny accuracy when inflicting critical wounds on his prey, be it through a weak point in armor or the jugular vein in a throat. He chuckled roughly at the thought that perhaps he was one of those individuals that was often warned about... too eager to accept the new powers afforded to him.

He took on this curse willingly of course, but not for personal gain. He bore this because, as just a man, he would not be strong enough to withstand the trials ahead. His companions would need as much strength as he could muster to help them all face down Deathwing. He could spend the rest of his life as a monster if it meant that his friends would survive.

The cold night wind blew down the collar of his coat, bringing him out of his revelry. He let loose a savage roar and his protodrake growled in response. He turned his head to gaze out over the city, lingering over the Cathedral of Light just a moment longer. He spurred his mount to flight and made for the Eastern Earthshrine, to continue to train and increase his power for the battles to come.

the court jester

2010-10-30T16:19:00.000-04:00

Streamed the Rally To Restore Sanity and/or Fear in my living room today. The court jester the most sane man in the castle? Sad, but also appropriate.

Reflected for a bit on the tagline: “a rally for the people who’ve been too busy to go to rallies.” I think the reason that fake news shows like The Daily Show and the Colbert Report have become so relevant is because real people are busy dealing with every day real life. They might tune in to the 24-hour news cycle for maybe 10 minutes to an hour a day before being pulled away by sleep or the kids or whatever. (Or worse, be constantly plugged into the 24-hour news cycle for a huge chunk of the day, like say, cranky old retirees or the unemployed or stay-at-home-whatevers). The staff at The Daily Show and the Colbert Report are -required- to scan every second of the 24 hour news cycle as their jobs, mining it for comedic material. Of all of us, they are able to see the whole circus in its entirety, and thus are able to illustrate best how ridiculous a monster is has become. No regular hardworking person has time to watch all of the news and see its inconsistencies and inaccuracies and distortions... but we can focus for an hour or so and watch the news... about the news.

I just wish I'd gotten on the Pundit bandwagon when it was unquestioned... lots of money to be made in selling books, selling ads on hate-filled websites, and just being a loud-mouthed bullying jerk.

alchemy

2010-07-19T13:30:00.000-04:00

in the perpetual search to find meaning, i find cooking to be alchemy of a kind: it is an art in which one's very life can be translated into something tangible, which is then rendered back into intangible upon consumption. the full calculus of making food, however, is complex and delves into dark places. in the academic spirit, i will for the purposes of this demonstration ignore the external variables which do not relate to my object lesson.

consider the purchase, preparation and consumption of a portion of cow muscle. in order to acquire the ability to make said purchase, one would have to exert energy; in our modern world, the simplest example would be to work one hour for macburgerhut. in exchange for one hour of your life, you receive a paltry sum of paper and coin money, smelling faintly of cheese and tin. compensation in grubby hand, one treks to the butcher's and requests a filet mignon of modest size and very humble quality, costing let's say eight dollars, the full sum of your one hour's work. like magic, you have conducted transactions which have transformed one hour of your existence, never again to be regained in this life, into a material object.

returning to your dingy rented hovel (you do, after all, work at macburgerhut) you resolve to immediately cook and consume your steak - mostly to prevent your roommates from eating it before you... again, the odds being quite likely that all of you work at the equivalent of macburgerhut, which is why you're all sharing an apartment at the ripe old ages of 30.

let's further posit that, despite being employed at as disreputable a place as macburgerhut, you do have some modicum of cooking ability outside of waiting for the bell to alert you that the fries are done. by converting more of your existence into effort, you are able to induce reactions into the inanimate hunk of cow flesh which alter the structure of its proteins, fats and volatile organic components that cause it to become something that your reptilian brain now desires greatly. alchemy indeed.

finally, you stand (or rather sit on your threadbare, stained recliner) poised at the brink of consumption, the tiny browned chunk of cow flesh triggering a cascade of responses and counter-responses in your brain. your olfactory senses are alight, you are salivating profusely, and your brain's pleasure centers begin to fling synaptic charges wildly in anticipation of what is to come. you clumsily cut a couple of thin slices from the filet and place them into your mouth... steak, fat and seasonings touch your tongue and your brain's pleasure centers explode into the biochemical equivalent of multiple orgasm. for a very brief moment in time, all feels right with the world and you enjoy subtle rolling waves of bliss as the beef slides down your gullet into your belly. congratulations! you have now mystically converted a physical object into sensation, experience and various other intangibles.

the object lesson here is that, for the unimportant masses who toil away at thankless jobs for a pittance, an hour of life is valued at no more than a cut of filet mignon. what tawdry object could the entirety of one life be worth? and in the calculus of modern life, how is it that, with a straight face, we can value certain people so much more than ten, a hundred, a thousand times other people?

unquiet spirit

2010-04-28T15:39:00.002-04:00

i have said in the past that i am resigned to my mediocrity, but this cannot be so, else i would not keep opening this old wound. it is my misfortune to have been denied a meridian period during my youth, when it mattered most; instead i am doomed by my failings and my inadequacies to mark the prosperity and success of those around me.

unless my fortune changes soon, for the remainder of my base, spartan life, i will only be able to rail impotently against the low road i am confined to, and be forever an unquiet spirit, of no substance or consequence, to only be mocked, ignored or brushed aside by my betters.

i can only hope that my end is abrupt and brutal, that my acrid soul does not fester too long. my kind of self-loathing is poisonous to the spirits of others, and i would rather not have those few who have regard for me recall me in the nadir of my life.

heroism

2010-04-27T23:59:00.003-04:00

the concept of heroism is always being fiddled with by people with too much time on their hands. here's my 2-second take:

heroism is sometimes achieved by ordinary people with an extraordinary degree of mental illness.

signs of age

2010-02-17T11:07:00.002-05:00

there comes a certain point in life when you realize that everyone who's ever said anything bad about you was right: that ex-girlfriend that dumped you, the mean bitches who said you were worthless, the parent (yours or someone else's) that said you'd never amount to anything.

after three decades, one comes to realize that your haters were right about a lot of things; proof shown just by looking around and seeing the evidence of your epic failure in life.

vindication and redemption is just a fairy tale fantasy for this loser. time to see about claiming my destiny as a janitor somewhere.

functioning in the cloud

2010-01-11T22:14:00.003-05:00

As humanity continues it's rush towards a Blade Runner-future, and (if we survive long enough) self-destruction via creation of a singularity event, I wonder at the future of our online existence under the gateway of virtual computing and cloud computing.

If you are unfamiliar with the two buzzwords above, virtual computing basically a human being with a keyboard and a monitor, but the input is all sent to a central processing location in Timbuktu or wherever. Any problems with the "computer" are fixed at the hub, which brings us back to the early days of computing, in which the PC was a series of vaccum tubes taking up the space of an entire building... just in this case, the building is one giant computer being used by thousands of subscribers. The company leasing the processing power merely pays to provide its employees with inexpensive interface devices, and the company providing the processor farms up the dollar signs.

Cloud computing is most easily exampled by an existing application: G**gle Documents, which is basically an online word processing program. Instead of paying for M**soft Office, you just use the online program, and of course store the data on G**gle's servers. Another example of cloud computing is of course, Blogger.

What my suspicious eye immediately sees is that, given the amount of control that these corporations will have over the data produced on its systems, ideas which are born on its servers will be corporate property. Individuals will soon have their ideas and work owned by corporations through the magic of the omnipresent and nebulous Terms of Service Agreement, which is a hair's breadth away from actually owning a person. That's a hell of an advertisement for bringing back good old ink and parchment.

Continuing down this line of thinking, I can foresee how corporations could eventually own all the fruits of human labor, while still charging us a premium for the fair market cost of maintaining our own existence. Thus by our own creations are we enslaved, censored, blinded and deafened.

Now all I have to do is figure out where to get in on a piece of the action.

continued disappointment

2009-11-23T15:48:00.003-05:00

I never cease to be disappointed by the selfishness and shallowness of people. It only takes the exclusionist actions of a minority to cause division and prejudice in the majority, infecting others with the same poverty of character in the process.

Humanity's self destruction is, and should be, inevitable if this is the pinnacle of our evolution. I just wish I had better seats from which to spectate during the long, slow, painful decline.

an expensive pile of shit

2009-08-09T14:49:00.002-04:00

As transitory as life's pleasures are, nothing is more brutally illustrative or honest than the consumption of food.

The ingredients could be the rarest, most expensive in the world. The hours- or days-long preparation could be exacting and without error. The chef could have been trained for years by unforgiving tutors in the most elite school. A single, exquisite meal could cost a king's ransom and require the influence of royalty to attain. The diner could experience a religious epiphany with each mouthful and openly weep at the table.

Yet it all ends up a pile of shit in the toilet.

lethal isolation

2009-08-06T17:34:00.004-04:00

I can see how a person could fall so deep into despair and isolation that they would take others down with them in flames.

Lack of human interaction can be a deadly thing if incubated in a certain way. Some of us just choose to channel it in a socially-acceptable way. Like, for instance, dying in combat in a war, preferably after having killed some (maybe many) people on the hostile side (and maybe some innocent bystanders)... going out that way earns you a medal and recognition.

In any case, we all know his name now, and in time we'll piece together his sad story. But people are stupid, and will forget the lesson, or learn the wrong one. Now because of my gender, I have to walk around with the new stigma of "potential mass murder," in addition to my previous labels of "wierd loser that is probably a stalker or a serial killer, or maybe both."

banality

2009-08-04T13:43:00.004-04:00

A mediocre life boils down to this: no matter where you live, be it a big city or shithole town, your life and your world is reduced to a handful of locations: the grocery store, home, and if you're lucky to have one at the time, your job.

In my various periods of time spent as a basement dwelling neckbeard, I've lived in three different cities, and in every city I've found the above assertion to be true.

Guess I'd better start thinking about going on prozac for the next thirty years, or it's gonna be a rough ride. On the other hand, I do tend to savor suffering.

open season

2009-08-04T13:08:00.003-04:00

One of the "funniest" things on this morning's news is the story of four women who "got even" with a man that cheated on them by tying him up, sexually assaulting him and then robbing him. Apparently the women of America are having a grand laugh about this.

Now, the guy in question may have been egregiously "unfaithful" (if he were a woman, he'd just be "empowered") and of very poor moral character, but I am disgusted by the people on television who defend their actions as "fair" or "just". If you swapped the situation, and had four guys tie up a slutty whore, glued her vagina lips to her thighs, and then stole her phone, wallet and car, we'd have feds all over that shit investigating a hate crime. But as of right now, each of the four sex criminals are out on a measly $200 cash bail a piece.

Even though the criminals face charges of false imprisonment, which carries a maximum term of six years, and only one faces a bullshit charge of fourth-degree sexual assault, I'm waiting to hear about how they get off with a slap on the wrist. Meanwhile, four men doing the same thing would get the book thrown at them and all of them instantly convicted of sexual assault.

You know what, women, FUCK YOU. Next time I hear about some bitchy whore getting what -she- "deserves," I'll just laugh and laugh and laugh, because she -must- have had it coming, right?

spiraling fate

2009-06-05T09:36:00.003-04:00

My luck is really sh*tty. It seems like every time I'm transitioning into a new life stage, I always do so during a recession.

Looks like my grad school plans will have to be put on hold for the relocation. Grad school is too important for me to half-ass it. I'm not smart enough to work and go to school. And no bank'll hook me up with a mortgage without steady employment.

So, I'll be a decade behind my rivals, whose kids will be starting kindergarden by the time I'm even close to considering having my first.

F*ck this shit. The Myth of the American Dream has been dead to me from the get-go. And f*ck everyone that's had better luck than me. Go ahead and gloat motherf*ckers, you come in first place. Congratu-f*cking-lations, you win. Now f*ck off while I make my own life.

softie

2009-05-02T21:52:00.002-04:00

I came to a realization while driving a couple of days ago (yes, driving is my meditation, like a Sufi darwish, but using an auto and the freeway). In my advancing state of decrepitude, I am doing that oldf*ck thing where I have too much time on my hands to think about stupid crap.

I am not really a misanthropist, or I'd be way off the grid by now. I guess I'm more of a jaded cynic... I actually care about people too much, like the biggest extended family ever. So when they act stupid or are less than I believe they have the potential to be, it burns me, which is why I'm so angry at them all the time. I don't try to force people to act right, though; they have to choose to do that on their own or it means nothing.

good old fashioned

2009-02-20T13:01:00.003-05:00

Haven't posted in a long time, but a lot of things are going on, most of which I'm not happy about. But then again, very little in this life pleases me... and people in general are dumbasses. There are a handful of things that make me happy though, and I hold those close to my heart.

I could waste time and energy raging in public about everything under the sun, but that wouldn't be productive.

adventure in the cold northern reaches

2008-12-09T00:11:00.002-05:00

World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King was released in the early morning of 13 November. I have spent nearly every day since then immersed in the fictional continent of Northrend. As my travels and experiences in the real world are limited at the moment, I must content myself with adventure in that artificial world. I have enjoyed meeting the new races in Northrend and surveying the culture designed for them by the creative team at Blizzard. I've also appreciated the geography that the world team built for the different zones of Northrend, from the dizzying heights of the Storm Peaks to the visually striking Crystalsong region.

After having spent so much time in there, I can definitely say that the illusion of fantastic adventure is tenuous. As with most computer-generated worlds, the spectre of statistics and metrics constantly looms over the entire experience. This expansion did a better job of allowing me to experience a cohesive, tied-together storyline and worry less about damage-meters, minute statistical improvements and numerical superiority. In the end, though, online RPG-gaming boils down to math, inventory management and user-interfaces. Getting to end game content means ensuring that you have X materials, to create Y pieces of gear with +Z frost resistance so that you can mitigate aura damage and increase your focused DPS on the target. In addition, one needs to ensure that Ventrilo is functional and not causing port conflicts, and that one's connection is robust enough not to disconnect during a boss battle. Not very fantastic or epic, is it? Still, it's what needs to be done to down bosses and get loot... a giant online applied statistics problem combined with hand-eye coordination exercises.

Frankly, I'm starting to look forward to the release of the Final Fantasy 13 game suite. Somehow that game series has consistently allowed me to experience and immerse myself in the storyline and forget, for long periods of time, statistics and math. I guess I'd rather spend my offtime feeling epic than calculating epic.

hope lives, but the fight has only begun

2008-11-04T23:35:00.000-05:00

Once again, I allow myself a rare moment of unqualified hope. I served in the military both voluntarily and involuntarily for a a time, but few moments validated my sacrifice more than tonight: seeing that large numbers of my fellow citizens finally stirred from their lethargy to exercise their right to vote for the first time. In exercising this right, the majority of them also elected Barack Obama to the land's highest office.

I could say more, but for now it is enough.

ahh the smell of ash and fire

2008-08-25T02:26:00.008-04:00

After Monday's financial meltdown, there's a lot of doom-and-gloom, solemn predictions and earnest cries of repentance from those losing their grip on their precious upper middle-class status (real or illusory).

I think it's a lot of baloney, all of it: the publicized remorse over our energy habits, our credit habits, our greed and our materialism. I've known way too many monied, over-entitled, over-privileged princes and princesses coming from managerial-class families. It's that morning-after hangover from a long weekend of binge drinking, the walk of shame after a night of ill-advised casual sex. Once the "next weekend" comes around - meaning that the money frees up, gas becomes cheap and corporations begin to stabilize - Americans will be right back at it again with their wasteful energy use, pursuit of status symbols over practicality, and overblown sense of entitlement.

It is a legitimate goal to want to have enough money to weather life's shocks. Goodness knows that those lucky few who have serious money wisely allocated are barely affected by the financial crash: the ones who actually have significant savings safely deposited, and who live a comfortable lifestyle below their means.

Those are the people I admire: emotionally stable, disciplined people who realize that they can and should be happy at being among the "poorest" six-figure households in their tax bracket. The ones that know they're lucky they don't have to worry about buying groceries, resupplying sundries, or paying their (few) bills.

Sadly, the upper middle-class households I admire are few in comparison to the larger majority that give "upper-middle class" a bad name: the ones that teach their children such values as:

"I am a better, more worthy person because my family has money. If yours does, then so are you."
"If I dress exclusively in designer labels, I am a good person. If you also do this, then you must be, too."
"If I have a lot of expensive stuff, that makes me a good person. If you have a lot of expensive stuff, you are too."

(And yes, I have met these people, and they are now adults in the workforce gunning for management positions... one day they'll be the gatekeepers determining the success of your children based on flash over substance.)

onward london

2008-08-25T01:33:00.002-04:00

I was fortunate enough to catch the entirety of the 29th Olympiad's Closing Ceremony this evening (tape-delayed of course); it was appropriate enough, although the Opening Ceremony was so epic that not even the Chinese could outdo their own initial performance. Although, for me at least, the appearance of a sultry Leona Lewis seriously challenged all the closing fireworks in Beijing.

The unemphasized portion of the closing ceremony that I most dwelt on was how all of the participants were feeling at the conclusion of this global event. Gold or not, I envied them their experience at the Games. When the question was put to her by the network, first-time Olympian Shawn Johnson struggled to capture her thoughts on the whole affair; although she gave it a good effort, I felt that there was just too much for her to communicate in a single sound byte.

Who knows how many millions of interesting Olympic Village stories - whether begun, continued or ended - would never be known? Adventure, camaraderie, disappointment, romantic entanglement, despair, redemption, resolution... By now I know that the reality of the athletes' experience was perhaps more mundane than I tend to fantasize. Still, within that singularity in which so many life-threads converge in one place, I like to hope that friendships were formed and kindnesses were exchanged that one day might be paid forward and multiplied many times over to make the world a little better than it otherwise might have been.

Governments and nations are glacial constructs which cause destruction and grief when they collide, ostensibly for some greater good. I want to believe that the good, positive energy generated in the interactions between people can help to overcome the cold machinations of policy and ideology.

Now that the dream of the Olympics is over, I am once again faced with the unpleasant reality of my own country, with its two-glacier political system. With the national conventions coming up in the next two weeks, the fight to be the figurehead of this country will be unleashed. And although I have gotten over the fact that I will be choosing the lesser sum of evils, I remain cynical and pessimistic about the near future. On the other hand, perhaps that is the way it is meant to be. Peace and prosperity are illusions that can only be purchased with the suffering and poverty of others... the Earth is a closed system, after all. Every generation is meant to fight for something, even if it's against itself. As with real conflict, only a few of us really lead the fight. The rest of us play our small supporting roles in duels, skirmishes and small group actions.

beijing string

2008-08-20T22:55:00.003-04:00

The late night broadcasts are grueling; were it not for my prior experience with staying up in the middle of the night, I'd be hurting much worse.

I was able to catch a break on Saturday, and witnessed Michael Phelps' 8th win from a downtown bar. The post-swimming hangover included figuring out the schedule for all the other events this week. I'm liking the new BMX event, and will definitely enjoy re-watching diving, the gymnastics gala, and the beach volleyball finals! Might be about time to invest in a new recording device. TiVo is ever-tantalizing, but I'd rather not have to go through the agony of deleting favorite programming. Still, with three-channels going at once, maybe TiVo is the only feasible option with a single device (I'm not a baller... can't afford three devices).

I'm still pondering how I can land a job that requires travel through Asia...

Grad school entrance exams are an ever present burden. I just hope I'm not rolling rocks like Sisyphus. Luckily prep books are cheap, and I've budgeted for two attempts at the test. Oddly enough, the math seems less difficult than the writing, which is to say the math is ugly and the writing is worse. The test does not reflect reality in any way... it's more about how quickly and how thoroughly you can learn a new subject: passing the test.

Wishing luck to the Beach Volleyball Teams tonight, who are playing in rain that refuses to abate. More coffee and test-Math for me.

golden machine

2008-08-14T23:11:00.002-04:00

Once again, Michael Phelps sets a world record in unbelievable fashion, exhibiting his endurance, power and discipline to show the world a new upper limit to human potential. Inspiring to be sure. Perhaps 36 years from now, a young man who sees Phelps' achievements at these games will be the one to surpass him.

Still, all that inspiration is too far removed from me; I'm not young anymore and definitely not a savant or a prodigy. Barring some miraculous last-minute revelation, I'm on the slow road out of town, just putting in the hours and tucking away my coins; my hope also lies in the potential of youth.

I have allowed myself to be caught up in the spirit of the Games, for a change feeling a touch of hope and optimism. Soon enough, the Summer Games will be over and current events will loom once again.

cured syndrome

2008-08-14T01:31:00.005-04:00

Although there is issue with the leaders of China, I am happy for the people of China, who were presented with a new hero today: YANG Wei, captain of the Chinese Men's Gymnastics team. Despite some nervousness amongst his teammates at the start, Yang performed with power and resolve, rallying his men to taking Olympic Gold in the Team competition two days ago.

Today, Yang carried the hopes of a billion of his countrymen all the way to the summit of the competition, performing with the same power and resolve he displayed in the team event. He outlasted the Japanese to take a second Gold medal and make a place for himself in the history of the world and his nation (and without the controversy surrounding the women's team).

While the authoritarian elite of the nation may use this achievement for its own purposes, I do not begrudge in any way the victory that Yang Wei has brought to the common Chinese person ... the ones who work hard every day in the hope for a better future for their children. And with any luck, it will also inspire the scions of the elite - who will be chosen to one day replace the old men now in power - to improve their country and better the lives of its people by allowing more tolerance and individual freedom.

water madness!

2008-08-10T22:26:00.002-04:00

There's been so much going in Beijing that I need some time to process it; at this point, I can't recap everything I've seen, but it's not that important. After watching some serious swimming, diving and gymnastics performances as the weekend winds down, I'm as in awe at the level of competition and at the intensity of the competitors as I ever have been.

I liked the human interest interstitial about how some Chinese girls, not much older than 3 years, are prompted to or selected to begin rigorous, demanding gymnastics training for much of their childhood, and at best can only expect a career lasting only into their 30s. Makes me wonder what they opt to do once their body starts to break down from the high demands placed on it. I'm sure that there are some who are sharp as tacks and able to transition to a more intellectual profession, and some who opt for a more sedate life. How many former gymnasts are there in China these days, working as clerks or agents or assistants, I wonder?

Interrupt: Kudos to Japan's KITAJIMA Kosuke, who took the Gold and set a new World Record in the Men's 100m Breaststroke.

hot sand

2008-08-10T14:01:00.004-04:00

The sand volleyball court in Beijing just got a lot hotter as the Chinese and Greek Women's 2v2 Beach Volleyball teams take the field. Looks like the Chinese went with the bikinis after all!

Un-PC slavering aside, the Chinese team of Xue and Zhang are favored to win this match versus the alphabet soup team of Tsartsiani and Koutroumanidou, even though Xue's having some performance anxiety to start, with three hitting errors.

Ever since I was old enough to understand the Olympics, I've always been envious of the people who get to live in places like the Olympic Village. It's this magically appearing, world-in-miniature, where all sorts of interesting internationals congregate and all sorts of things are happening. It exists for a short time before vanishing, reappearing years later somewhere else in the world. That, combined with the concept behind the Olympics, really is a fairy tale kind of ideal. The reality is a lot more mundane, of course, but I prefer to dwell on the romantic.

long bow

2008-08-10T10:55:00.003-04:00

Decided on coffee for breakfast, which is a surprisingly easy (if unhealthy) choice. Watching some pretty amazing shooting in the Women's 3v3 Team Archery competition between China and South Korea. Nothing quite as hot as a longbow-wielding woman. Modern archery equipment seems pretty complicated these days, with all kinds of stabilizers and stuff on the bow... but a competition archer in full kit looks really cool.

World of Warcraft is celebrating the Olympics by offering some special toys for competing in some PvP this month: a tabard with a linked ring logo and a small Chinese-style dragon noncombat pet. It's cute and relatively easy to get, I just wish I had more room to keep all this cool non-game stuff.

Update: Looks like the South Korean women's team took the Gold in Archery with 224 points - that's a lot of bullseyes! Also fashion point: the archers by design or by preference, are all wearing cute cotton bucket hats. One of the South Korean archers also had a pink bow and a color-coordinated chestguard with a cute animal mascot holding a red heart with 'LOVE' inscribed on it ... adorable.

golden juggernaut

2008-08-10T10:12:00.004-04:00

After a late night, the Chinese medal strategy is paying off in gold - six gold medals to be exact. The US is Silver-heavy, but still has just as many medal winners (Gold, Silver and Bronze together) as the powerhouse host of the games. Despite seeing some surprising flaws in individual performances (including a rookie mistake last night by the leader of the Chinese Men's Gymnastics team during Qualifying Performances), I think I can sense how rigorous and disciplined the Chinese athletes trained for each of their events. During a special last night about one of the Chinese team's gymnasts, I was struck by his statement that he was competing for the honor of his entire country... the hopes and expectations of a billion people is a lot of f'ing pressure. I couldn't do it, for sure.

Currently watching the US Men's Basketball team take on the Chinese team led by Yao Ming, and it's an exciting, fast-paced game. I'll probably end up passing on breakfast and going straight for a heavy lunch (not that I have much choice since I've woken later than I'd intended). On another channel, the US battles the Aussies in Men's Tennis 1v1 Singles.

After yesterday's tragic knife murder at the Drum Tower, I just have to shake my head at how, even with such a high-profile event, some crazed nut will still commit random violence. Being a world traveller myself, I am quite familiar with the need to be wary of people looking to take advantage of you, whether you're in Beijing or Boston. However, no matter how vigilant one is, sometimes shit just goes down ... had I been in the same spot, with my wife present and at risk, I might have also stayed to fight off the killer, assuming I even saw it coming.

beach volleyball

2008-08-09T21:01:00.003-04:00

The Japanese (Kusuhara and Saiki) are taking on the US Women's Team (May-Treanor and Walsh) in 2v2 Beach Volleyball on a cooler (but undoubtedly humid) morning in Beijing. Looking forward to seeing some great Japanese defensive playing; I don't think they'll be able to hold off the American offense and height advantage though.

I'm actually looking forward to seeing the Chinese Women's B.VBall uniforms; apparently they had a modesty problem with the standard bikini worn by most beach volleyball players, so they may be wearing an indoor volleyball uniform for this event. I can only imagine the chafing once the sand starts getting into unwelcome places. /lol.

ripped

2008-08-09T20:42:00.003-04:00

Watching the pommel horse portion of the US Men's Team Gymnastics competition. Gymnast Alexander Artemev pulls out some seriously bad-ass flares and sticks the dismount to score serious points for the team in its weakest event.

Prior to this, I was able to watch Raj Bhavsar vindicate himself on the rings; after trying twice before to make the Olympic Team and not being selected despite solid, skilled performances on the rings, he was finally chosen to go to the Beijing Summer Games. I am always amazed at the strength of the athletes on the rings, but Raj has some seriously ripped muscles which lets him just power his way through his routine.

I guess I missed some earlier individual performances on the vault and on the parallel bars, but I can catch those online later I suppose. Looking forward to seeing how the Japanese and the Chinese do in gymnastics.

I've selected a Red Bull-Mike's Hard Lemonade combo to carry me through the evening's events; looking forward to some spicy curry later tonight to keep my energy levels up. I picked up a Sam Adams Summer Ale as part of my mixed sixer; I'm hoping the Summer Ale's sweetness will complement the curry nicely.

I haven't been able to play Persona: FES as much as I'd like. I'm kinda hooked on the dating sim side of the game more than the dungeon running side.

beach drama and hot sauce

2008-08-09T16:13:00.004-04:00

I settled on a cold Tsingtao beer and KFC with their house hot sauce. Not a bad combo!

Looks like the American Men's Beach Volleyball team, seeded #1, got caught offguard by the Latvian team, seeded #23 (2d to last), and lost the first game. Latvia took an early lead in the second, and ultimately made a huge upset of the US team by taking match point. An incredible upset to be sure and a mark of honor for the Latvians. The US team is still in the running for later matches however, which I'm sure we'll see later this week.

Time for a nap to weather all of tonight's broadcasts!

olympic marathon (vicariously)

2008-08-09T15:33:00.005-04:00

I'm pushing my long-unusued multitasking skills as I bounce between Men's Beach Volleyball and the English subs of Lucky Star on Veoh.

Just saw a short on NBC about the little Chinese boy, 9-year old Lin Hao, who survived the earthquake in Sichuan province. As related in the short, the child, after freeing himself from the rubble of his collapsed school, found help and went back into the rubble to help free two of his friends. When asked why he went back in, the story goes, Lin Hao replied: "Because I'm the [class rep]*. It's my job." Lin Hao, the side of his head still scarred from his ordeal, walked next to flagbearer and American basketball star Yao Ming as the Chinese team entered the Bird's Nest stadium in last night's Opening Ceremony.

*[Note: The media sort of misquoted Lin Hao as stating he was a 'Hall Monitor.' Those more familiar with mainland Chinese education and Asian schooling in general will recognize that Lin Hao was actually elected his class's representative/class leader (the Japanese Gaykku-Iincho, for example) whose duties include taking class polls, assigning class duties, and some hall monitor duties. In keeping with the traditional, hierarchical socialization of Asian children, classes of children often stay together as a cohort through to graduation, and within that cohort, a leadership structure is established. ]

Looks like the humidity and heat of the area is causing problems by making the players sweaty, who then cover the ball with sweat and screwing up their ability to set the ball.

errands and olympics

2008-08-09T15:12:00.000-04:00

After forcing myself away from the telly, I made a critical supply run to complete my plan to dig in for the weekend. The games will be lasting for a few weeks, so I've got to get into the rhythm of broadcasts and catch as much as possible while still making time for studies.

Michael Phelps, as expected, kicked serious ass in the Men's 400m Medley Prelim Race, taking 1st as well as setting a new record. His ambition plan to take eight Gold medals involves not only eight show-time performances, but also a weeks-long, tightly regimented schedule of preparation, cooldowns, warmups, ceremonies and physical maintenance. His teammate Lochte took 4th. Phelps is now going to wind down and prepare for tomorrow's Men's 400m Medley final race for the Gold.

Meanwhile, more Women's volleyball on MSNBC with Poland taking on Cuba in a preliminary match. My biggest decision today is whether I gorge on KFC or spicy Bombay Potato curry =).

after the break, tall women

2008-08-09T12:13:00.006-04:00

After losing the 3d match due to strong US defense led by Heather Bawn and offense from Scott-Aruda, the Japanese tried to rally but lost the final Women's Volleyball match against the Americans 25-21.

Cut into the Women's weightlifting as the Japanese lifter failed to put up 110 kg on her 2d attempt. The Turkish lifter put up 112kg on her 3d attempt to make a successful medal bid. Meanwhile, the Chinese lifter successfully put up 113 kg on her first lift with flawless technique, locking up the Gold medal by her fourth lift; Turkey was forced to fight for the 2d spot against Tawian (aka "Chinese Taipei" to the Chinese hosts) in 3d with a 112 kg fifth lift. After two strong 114kg lifts, the Thai lifter was out of Silver medal contention after failing to make her last lift. Despite a valiant (if failed) last effort by Taiwan to take the Silver, the Taiwanese lifter could not hold the weight, giving the silver to Turkish lifter. Despite already having locked in the Gold medal (the first for China in the Games), the Chinese lifter, CHEN Xiexia, made a definitive final statement with her record breaking 117 kg sixth and final lift.

Other events planned today involving the US are Men's Cycling and Men's Swimming, where the much lauded Michael Phelps will start on his campaign for 8 Gold medals.

From last night's quarterfinals sweep, Mariel Zagunis took the first Gold for the US in Women's Individual Saber Fencing defeating both her teammates, Becca Ward and Sada Jacobson. After a hard fought series of back-and-forth touches, Zagunis defended her title against both Ward and Jacobson using trademark stutter steps, wiliness and skill on the counterattack. Despite losing her shot at Gold, Ward had to rally herself and defend the Silver against Russian sabre fencer Velikaya. Jacobson took the Bronze after repelling Romanian Catalina Gheorghitoaia. That's a medal sweep for the US in Women's Individual Saber!

Meanwhile on USA network, the Canadians continued to strive against the Chinese; on Chinese home turf, the crowd was decidedly vociferous for the home team. On MSNBC, women's Badminton singles continued with Germany taking match point against Indonesia.

vball all round

2008-08-09T11:13:00.006-04:00

After a short break, I'm up and catching the 3d set of 6v6 Women's Volleyball First Round between the US and the Japanese on NBC; commentators seem to be fixated on the US team's perceived lack of consistent offense. Meanwhile, the Japanese, who seem to be strong on defense, are fighting through a series of rallies to keep up with the Americans. Meanwhile, Women's 2v2 Beach Volleyball is running on USA network as the Aussies play a strong last game against the Russians ('Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi!' indeed; the Aussies are always a commentator favorite in beach volleyball). Back on NBC, the Japanese fall to the US offense after a six point run and strong defense, 22-19. The US 2v2 Beach Volleyball is up next.

For me, it's time to reset and plan my run to KFC for that big bucket =). I'll have to find out what happened during the US v. Japan soccer match, too.

Postscript: The Russians, despite a great debut match in 2v2 Beach Volleyball, fall in the 3d game against the Aussies 15-12. Next event on USA is the Women's weightlifting competition, with China a heavy favorite. On NBC, the Japanese play another match against the US team in 6v6 Volleyball, taking an early lead against the Red White and Blue with some strong offense.

postscript - women's soccer

2008-08-09T04:59:00.002-04:00

After reading online a bit, I was still awake for the beginning coverage of the Preliminary Round Women's Soccer match between the US and Japan. The Japanese have never defeated the US Women's Team in this event. I'll have to catch the rebroadcast later today, but the US team appears to be taking an aggressive stance to open the match.

late-night olympics

2008-08-09T04:46:00.001-04:00

Still awake watching live Olympics coverage on USA channel.

Watched the 3 US women advance to the Individual Sabre (Fencing) Quarterfinals. I learned a little about sabre fencing (scoring hits by slashing, and modern fencing scoring, which is both subjective and prone to technology error.

In women's air rifle, an American woman, Jamie Beyerle from Pennsylvania, beat out the analyst-favored Chinese shooter, Du Li, for 4th place with a well-aimed 9th shot out of 10. Meanwhile, Katerina Emmonds of the Czech Republic, who held an early, unbeatable lead with several flawless shots, took Gold. L. Galkina from Russia held off other contenders to take Silver and S. Pejcic from Croatia took the Bronze.

In the women's Badminton singles (1v1), the network began coverage with Irvine Valley College, CA alum Eva Lee (USA) starting Round 2 against Canadian Anna Rice. After losing the Round 1 to the Canadian, Eva Lee hung on for a hard fought 21-19 2d round win due to Rice's unforced error. In the final round against Canada, Lee endured a series of grueling rallies only to lose steam at the end of the match, committing two unforced errors and giving Rice the last two points in a 21-19 win. Eva Lee has never been able to defeat Anna Rice. Lee will also participate in two more events with her US Badminton teammates in women's doubles (2v2) and mixed doubles (2v2) in a bid for two more American medals in Badminton.

In the final live televised event I watched, New Zealand's horse Gandalf and rider Mark Todd (out of and 8-year retirement to represent his country) competed in the Shatin, Hong Kong Equestrian Venue in the Men's Individual Dressage event. Cutting a striking figure in his tophat and tailcoat, the experienced Todd incurred 49.40 points in penalties, ultimately ending up 9th out of 25 at the end of the 1st Session. The second team to show was Canadian rider Kyle Carter and 10-year old horse Madison Park, who still holds promise for future events; after enduring heat and humidity, the Canadian team made off with 63.50 points in penalties, ending up 23d at the end of the 1st Session. The Germans, who tend to dominate equestrian dressage, showed third, with rider Peter Thomson and horse The Ghost of Hamish 53.10 in penalties, ending up 18th at the end of the 1st Session. The American competitors, Gina Miles riding McKinlaigh and Amy Tryon riding Poggio II scored 39.30 and 46.50 in penalties respectively. The Australians ultimately outrode the competition and took 1st and 2nd place, while Miles took 3d and Tryon took 7th by the end of the 1st Session. The riders and horses will compete in two more stages to determine medals: equestrian jumping and equestrian Gran Prix (or cross country riding).

I look forward to holing up tomorrow with a bucket of KFC and a Fresh Market mixed six-pack of beer; first, though, it's time for bed and a well-deserved snooze.

08.08.08

2008-08-09T00:14:00.003-04:00

The 2008 Summer Olympics Opening Ceremony just finished airing here and I gladly give the nod to the Chinese for their Olympic debut. As summed up by the NBC Commentators, the inaugural event exceeded all superlatives. I was impressed by the 500-plus foot LCD screen used in several performances, and by the massive use of pyrotechnics in the ceremony and the preceding dress rehearsal. No less impressive was the overwhelming human power used in the ceremony, with a reported count of 15,000 individuals participating in all of the different ceremony segments.

"Human power" was demonstrated not only by the presence of so many, but by the discipline shown by the performers as they executed stunning mass feats of choreography:

The opening segment consisted of a light show in which hundreds of people were turned into a giant LED billboard, with individuals acting as on/off pixels that formed Chinese characters (most notably the character for 'Harmony') and standard numbers (some moving across the "screen"). Later in the same segment, these same individuals then chanted a Confucian welcome in unison, followed by a choreographed drumming sequence. I can only imagine the visceral impact for those actually in attendance; the sense of space inside the Bird's Nest stadium combined with hundreds of people drumming was no doubt memorable.
Another environmentally-themed segment featured the coordinated action and precise positioning of hundreds of Tai Chi Chuan martial artists in a perfect circle at the opening of the segment. The martial artists then performed their fast-style forms, ranging about but always returning to their perfect circle. Even after a portion in which they began a choreographed run around the performance floor, the martial artists returned to the circle form quickly and easily.
A segment depicting the evolution from traditional calligraphy to moveable type utilized hundreds of performers inside square boxes (each box representing a typesetting piece) executing coordinated lifts of their boxes. Arranged in a solid block with dozens of rows and columns - sort of the physical analog of the earlier "human LED screen" performance or those 3D pin art/pin screens found in toystores - the Chinese character for 'Harmony' was displayed several times in keeping with the ceremony theme. Other choreography displayed raw discipline and rigorous practice, as well-timed, consecutive lifts alluded to wind across grass, or to a drop striking the surface of water and causing ripples. The pinnacle of the segment was when a 3D representation of the Great Wall of China morphed into a physical field of bright pink flowers which blossomed from one corner to the other, followed shortly after by the performers popping the hatch on their boxes and waving to the spectators. The segment was memorable to me because no machinery was used in the highly coordinated performance.

The end of the Opening Ceremony featured the final torchbearer being lifted hundreds of feet in the air via wire to make a "lap" around the ceiling of the stadium in a symbolic representation of the entire Torch relay (complete with real footage clips of the relay being displayed under him on a rolling scroll), before dramatically lighting the Olympic Flame with a billowing trail of fire.

I am quite pleased that I will actually be able to watch all of the Olympics this year, while I continue studying for my grad school entrance exams. I am looking forward to catching the various specials that will be aired on cable and on the web, as well as the Closing Ceremony. It's one of the first real "civilian" events that I've gotten to participate in, so I don't mind setting time aside from my new "day job" as a student.

don't quit the day job

2008-08-08T23:59:00.005-04:00

Although at the moment I seem to be unemployed, what I really have is a full-time job as a student studying for my grad school entrance exams, somewhat akin to the ronin of Japan's educational system, but without the American cultural analog (or the divine support of Tenjin, the Shinto God of Scholarship).

In retrospect, it's rather like self-employment, and I've been working at it since junior high school. (And I admit that I haven't always clocked in all the required hours). Now that I have a different perspective on it though, I realize that just as any self-employed businessperson, I'll be putting in eight to sixteen hours a day, six to seven days a week for this effort. And at some point, I'll be considering taking on a wage-slave side job to support the main enterprise.

Fortunately, I think that I have the right attitude and perspective to make this work for me, regardless of what the numbers show. As the adage goes, it is more about the struggle than the ending, and I know that I have what it takes to make the long haul.

asian withdrawal

2008-07-25T00:18:00.003-04:00

One unfortunate side effect of my nocturnal wandering is that I have entirely too much time to seek out my favorite drug: Asian culture. I now lurk the interwebs searching for music, snapshots of street life, recipes and trivia related to Japan, Korea, Thailand and Vietnam. I'm even delving reluctantly back into Asian-American culture for parts of my fix, even though that hybridized culture is becoming more and more Westernized and diluted.

Even as I devour data on the subject, I must always remember that I will never truly be one with my focus cultures. There are simply some things that one must be born into. Still, at least I have the freedom of choice as to which culture to be beholden to.

end of the trail (+590 days)

2008-06-17T00:00:00.005-04:00

Finally, it's over. Five-hundred and ninety days lost to the abyss of Time, and for what?

I made no immediate difference, changed no lives for the better. I made no intellectual or scholarly achievement. My life was not enriched by my enforced servitude. I have gained no job skills usable in the real world in a lucrative career... I am less employable now for my advanced age. My personal wealth is less than it could have been otherwise. And the future is pretty bleak: recession, insane housing costs, increasing cost of living, decreasing wages, a widening gap between poor and rich, rising costs of education.

As a final parting shot, the Empire left a sword hanging over me until November of 2010. But I am done with this particular burden.

Praises to the people serving, but "Fuck the Army," as the Vietnam-era solgan went. I'm done with the machine.

restless

2008-05-02T03:55:00.004-04:00

I find myself awake in the early hours of the morning; although likely brought on by the two cups of pre-bedtime coffee (ill-advised, but much-desired), I find my thoughts turning to the full weight of the last thirty-one years, and contemplating the uncertainty of the next five. It's probably good that I'm doing so.

Now that I am again wholly unengaged, I have time to ruminate on things from my past which may have bearing on my future: family, academics, personal desire. Unfortunately, I've also got the time now to consider the world at large and where I want to fit into it; wrestling with such a broad topic is vexing at best, crippling at its worst. Sadly, I've turned into one of those old guys that watches the news. But to a certain extent, I still distrust anything that I don't see with my own eyes, which allows room for hope.

There are a number of positives in not clinging to any sort of family legacy. My stint in the military was never meant to be a career, and I'd still prefer to establish a life away from it. On the other hand, the gravity of choosing a new life direction formidable, since I am already prone to introspection. The basis for decision-making is simple: do what inspires you. The toil comes in the enormous amount of self-analysis that is required to figure out who you are at any given point and trying to figure out how you might evolve in the immediate future. I am glad that I am an evolving personality, but it is labor-intensive.

My two priorities are figuring out what to study next and where. Perhaps I may find that which inspires me in grad school.

welfare epic

2008-04-25T09:52:00.002-04:00

Firstly, definitions for the uninitiated:

"Welfare": 1. The good well-being of a person or group; 2. assistance from a private organization because of hardship and need.

"Epic": A quality descriptor of items in the online game World of Warcraft; numerically, epic items enhance an individual player's ability to affect other players in combat, either offensively or defensively.

In the online game of World of Warcraft, the company that produces the game has created a class of items which have been derogatorily termed "welfare epics". Normally, epic items were only available to people who joined a group that regularly played some of the game's hardest content and defeated the game's hardest opponents. A new system of item availability recently implemented allows players of the game a different method of attaining epic-quality items.

The biggest debate currently ongoing amongst the players of the game is whether such welfare epics should be made available to players with the current system.

Welfare epics appeal mostly to casual players of the game, who may not want to join a group or have the time to regularly play the game's hard content.

In short, my take is this: welfare epics decrease the frustration that casual players feel by allowing them to experience content which they may have been previously unable to, which decreases the likelihood that they will quit. Ultimately, this is desirable because World of Warcraft is now a mass-market game meant to entertain the individual people playing it. Detractors of the welfare epic system need to stop being so elitist and degrading other players' enjoyment to enhance their own sense of self-worth. The game still rewards skill and dedication with achievement and items, but ultimately, all these achievements are artificial constructs in a game world. If elitist players are so obsessed with being accoladed and distinguished, I say they turn off their computers and turn their will and their intellect towards making achievements in the real world.

terminus (+521 days)

2008-04-11T17:34:00.002-04:00

A cause for joy today: I have started two months' paid leave, which coincides with my last two months on Active Duty. For practical purposes, I am done with the Army. There are caveats and provisos to this statement of course, but I will not dwell on them. It will be enough to say that I have completed my voluntary term of service.

I know that I must now chart a new course for my life post-service, but for now I begin the Longest Weekend Ever.

figureprints

2008-04-11T17:00:00.000-04:00

Finally received my shipment from FigurePrints: a four-inch 3-D plastic render of one of my toons from World of Warcraft! The figurine came carefully packaged in copious bubble wrap, and once inside the package I beheld my Night Elf Warrior, Luminant, scantily clad in Black Mageweave garments and wielding her Whirlwind Axe. The figurine was mounted on a black pedestal and sealed in a glass dome to preserve the delicate-looking creation.

Unlike a standard-molded figurine, there were some jagged spots, mostly noticeable on very thin sections of render, such as the blade of the Whirlwind Axe. The colors were also not quite as vibrant as I'd hoped for, but overall I am pleased with this unique and interesting accessory.

I do hope that FigurePrints is able to expand their production operations to handle a larger volume of orders. Maybe someday I'll have something epic to have them craft for me, but I am glad to have a figurine of one of my very first characters.

FigurePrints is currently based out of Canada, and I hope they continue to advance their technology... I can only imagine how popular they could be once they are able to create something as detailed and clean as some of the Japanese PVC statues I've seen.

five-hundred (+500 days)

2008-03-21T00:00:00.001-04:00

I have reached the five-hundred day mark. Five-hundred days of involuntary contractual servitude since 18 November 2006. And still counting.

Motherfuckers.

envy (+478 days)

2008-02-28T18:57:00.003-05:00

Drove by the local Mitsubishi dealership today. Saw the new Evos out display. Died a little inside.

Still, considering that I long ago failed in my plan to own an S2000 before I turned 30, the bitterness and disappointment is less. Relatively.

It's nice to know that admitting to being a failure and watching your dreams fade one-by-one is easier each successive time. /lol

100k (+477 days)

2008-02-27T17:35:00.001-05:00

Well, it's official: after seven years of faithful service, my car is now old.

At 5:36 AM on Wednesday, 27 February 2008, just as I was beginning my morning commute, my odometer flipped to six digits. Sadly, since November 2006, I put on about 34,000 miles from my daily drive.

Because I spare no expense in the maintenance and upkeep of my car, I suppose it'll be good for another 100,000 miles. But that doesn't stop me from drooling over new cars, and lamenting that I've burned off any resale and trade-in potential that it had. All because of this damn job that I can't quit.

Since there's no point (and really no other alternative at this time), I might as well keep driving the hoopty until it dies.

post v day! (+467 days)

2008-02-15T19:44:00.008-05:00

Although work was insane again, I cut anchor at three in the afternoon and fought through traffic to make it home in time to make myself pretty. I left the house at 5:10, picked up Nagi from work, and headed down to Broughton Street. After a short walk in the cooling evening air, we reached Broughton Street, where we passed people celebrating (and non-celebrating) the day. Il Pasticco, the local 'fancy Italian place' was full, but we had no problem getting seated for our 5:30 reservation at Tantra Lounge. The executive chef, Michael, was still on his way back from Taiwan, but I was confident that he'd left his kitchen crew with a great menu. Every time Michael puts a special menu together, it is awesome!

Nagi and I had previously seen Tantra posting it's V-Day menu and we were hooked: Greg Norman (translate: genetically hybrid Kobe-cattle and Australian beef-cattle) wagyu beef and Lobster Pad Thai are hard to turn down. Before this, Nagi and I had Mike's New Year's buffet menu: beef skewers, chicken skewers, Crab Rangoon, and I have been a long-time fan of the Tantra specials. I make a point of asking every Thursday or Friday evening that I come in.

In any case, after being seated and starting off with a cranberry vodka (Nagi's new favorite cocktail... vodka is a low-carb/low-cal alcohol), we ordered the salmon tartar & seared duck breast appetizer.

Nagi then presented me with a Valentine's Day card, handsomely tasseled and flocked in burgundy, which now sits in a place where I can see it in the evenings.

The salmon tartar was in a spicy, creamy pepper sauce garnished with an awesome sesame oil-seasoned seaweed salad and white flower petals. The seared duck breast was drizzled with some kind of dark sauce that had a hint of hoisin, accompanied with steamed asparagus tips and rose petals. The plating was gorgeous, and we were served on large silver-gilded glass platters.

After I had a second round of vodka-cran, we moved on to our entrees: Lobster pad thai and the wagyu beef, also beautifully plated and just as flavorful as expected. It was a pleasant treat for Nagi, as this was her first lobster ever. And this pad thai was prepared quite differently from Tantra's sister establishment, Saigon Thai/Vietnamese Restaurant, which Nagi has eaten at before, also indicating that this dish was solely the product of Tantra's executive chef.

The lighting was low, the music theme-appropriate and Tantra's dozen of red lanterns were the perfect setting for an intimate evening out. Towards seven in the evening, more of Tantra's regular patrons filtered into the lounge, as well as small groups of SCAD students, and I settled into a third vodka-cran.

As our dinner came to a close, I picked at bacon-wrapped scallops and had a glass of the house brut champagne as a nightcap. Too full for dessert, Nagi and I retired for the evening.

In all, a lovely dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.

the new year! (+439 days)

2008-01-18T18:39:00.000-05:00

First post of the New Year. From Christmas until now, it's been madness at work and at home. New Year's was celebrated at Tantra Lounge's fabulous year end bash, followed immediately by work on the second, third and fourth days of 2008. A brief rest followed by a continuation of an intense workload, and this is the first chance I've had to come up for air.

All is well, although my joint injury is still painful and will take some time to rehabilitate. I've got a physical fitness test on the first of February, but I'm resigned to doing poorly on that one. Gotta take it slow to avoid reinjury.

This weekend, I'll finally get around to taking down the Christmas wreaths, if the weather ever cooperates and quits dumping rain on us.

Things at work are going to get complicated soon, as we're relocating to temporary facilities in preparation for a new one being built. Guys low on the food chain like me tend to get the worst of it. Almost done here, though, which is good. Wonder if I'll break Five-Hundred Days overtime before it's finally finished (and even then, I'll be counting down to 2010 to be 100% safe from recall).

merry christmas to all, and to all... (+415 days)

2007-12-25T22:32:00.001-05:00

And so passes another Christmas, one that I wasn't sure I'd be in the States to experience. That I even had a chance at still being here this holiday season was due to the kindness of certain decisionmakers over me, and due to the competence and strength of those my coworkers who did make the journey over nearly a year ago. Their ability to pull the entire load of the shop, minus one (and eventually, minus two) is a testament to their spirit and tenacity; although I am doing my share here, I know that they made great sacrifices on their end by leaving me back here, for which I am grateful.

No matter what another person might think about the responsibility I am tasked to bear here on my own, I am driven in part because, by going the distance and doing whatever it takes to keep things running well here, I am honoring the work and the duties that my comrades are doing. I know and understand that they must work long & unpredictable hours, on short sleep, in a hostile area, often with unexpected taskings interrupting at inconvenient or very bad times, and all of this repeated ad nauseam for fifteen long months.

Although I would have liked to visit my family and friends this year in all their far flung locations, I must remain here and honorably continue to hold the line. I remain hopeful that next year will have ample time for travel. Still, I am fortunate enough to have people here that I care about to spend time with; though I remain here solely because of duty, duty is not my sole motivation.

news of a birth (+402 days)

2007-12-12T18:15:00.000-05:00

An old family friend recently delivered a healthy baby! Congratulations are due the proud mother and father!

I hope to be able to visit home to see the baby sometime before he graduates from high school...if these fuckers ever let me quit.

That's right, I'm now a generic (not blood-related) Uncle. "Old" for me is now a state of existence, not just a state of mind.

four-hundred days

2007-12-10T00:00:00.001-05:00

Still stuck on this damned treadmill for four-hundred days and counting.

Motherfuckers.

and another kick in the balls (+387 days)

2007-11-27T22:31:00.000-05:00

Just checked my status and it looks like my contract's been extended yet another three months to July 2008. Good times. Fuckers.

Anyway, there was a contingency plan for this very probability, so I am now adjusting for either a miraculous April 2008 contract termination or the listed July 2008 end-of-contract.

All I can say is 'Fuck This Shit'. I'm tired.

black friday? pshaw.(+383 days)

2007-11-23T17:45:00.001-05:00

I am glad that, unlike the masses, I have not been suckered by the consumer machine into participating in the idiocy that is the holiday shopping season. Any time you have humanity congregating in once place - especially under these conditions of limited supply and (for the individual shopping days) endless demand made malicious by an unlimited sense of entitlement - the basest of human behavior is brought to light: greed, barbarism and avarice. The sad part is that on most days off-holiday, this same selfishness lurks under the surface of modern society, as demonstrated by $1200 Hannah Montana tickets. Thankfully, this year my circle is instituting a $10 limit on material holiday gifts. Having been a world traveler long before I joined the military service, I always try to make sure that (for the holiday season especially) I maintain a great appreciation for those gifts which cannot be bought: moments of joy, the presence of loved ones and a sense of peace & security.

On the positive side of retail, I am glad to report that Tsunami is now wearing her engagement ring : a heart-shaped sapphire flanked by pear-shaped diamond, commissioned from an independent Northern California artisan. Congratulations, Tsunami & Pirate!

holiday madness (+378 days)

2007-11-18T19:03:00.000-05:00

Been stuck at this job for three-hundred and seventy-eight days longer than planned. Bleh.

Anyway, rolling hard into the Winter Holiday season. Although I've got so many days off this month, I'm curiously just as tired as if I'd worked the entire time... probably because the same amount of work has to be done in a shorter workweek.

On the holiday-side of life, I'm glad my family is so small... I am now witnessing first-hand how your own blood can trash your holiday buzz by foisting their expectations on you and weighing down your "goodwill towards men" with their own baggage. Glad I have no preconceptions about how the holiday season is "supposed to be." I tend to have a much more meaningful experience because I'm not tied down by blind ritual behavior.

Had a great time during Tsunami's visit. Saw some neat places, did a little window browsing, engaged in chocolate shopping, snapped some good pix and caught up on some of her manga backlog. Also, grats are in order as she is officially now a Missus-Pirate-In-Waiting. Woot!

The next year will pose a great number of challenges and definite sacrifices.

tri-force (+371 days)

2007-11-10T23:37:00.000-05:00

The big day is here, and Tsunami, Nagiko and I are on tour in Savannah.

After a sushi lunch in Jacksonville, we rounded up at home base to re-energize before an evening out on Broughton. Dinner was, of course, at Tantra with a short evening tour of downtown before we had dessert and aperitifs at Lulu's Chocolate Bar on MLK Blvd.

Now it's just a marathon to see how much manga, anime, touring, picture-taking, souvenir-hunting and entertainment we can cram into four days. Naps will be necessary with all the wierd hours we'll be keeping over this weekend, but I think we'll make a great holiday of it.

post-trip placemarker (+361 days)

2007-11-01T13:39:00.000-04:00

Our DC vacation is complete, and I am working on post-production of the raw video and stills.

The wedding ceremony was memorable, with a very talented choir made up of friends and co-workers of the bride and groom... one of the perks of having friends that are all in professional choirs or are involved in theater. Congratulations to the new Mr & Mrs!

In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out where to put my souvenirs from the Smithsonian Natural History Museum... shiny rocks and metal are my kind of vacation-crap.

on the mend (+338 days)

2007-10-09T05:15:00.000-04:00

Healing slowly and steadily. Still don't have full range of motion in the arm, though. Guess I get to take one more "souvenir" back with me from the job after I'm a free man again.

The weekend was restful, but the rest of the month is busy, so I figure it'll all even out, leaving me a sleep-deprived mess again.

old yeller (+330 days)

2007-10-01T09:05:00.000-04:00

It's about time to take this ol' dog round back and shoot me...

Managed to fracture the head of my radius during a fall while sprinting last week, so I'm gimpy for a month or so. Exactly one week before, nearly passed out at the end of my exercise routine with the 'Chest Pains' negative status buff a la 'Curse of the Blackheart' (Satyrnaar/Ashenvale). So, given two episodes of /fail, coupled with me falling squarely on the other side of 30 years of age, I am officially declaring my ass too old to roll.

If it's this bad at thirty, I am seriously going to take up skydiving when I hit the venerable age of 55. Or pull a Legends of the Fall and go out and try to wrestle an angry grizzly bear armed with a buck knife and cranky-old-man 'tude. I'm sure I'll taste pretty gamey by then, but grizzlies thankfully aren't fussy about eating old food. /lol (And I'm fairly sure I'll be loaded up with old-man-meds, so he'll probably get a nice high for a while.)

back online (+315 days)

2007-09-16T22:52:00.001-04:00

Odd sequence of occurrences this past week: fought off a weird illness with nasal congestion, low-grade fever, runny nose and post-nasal drip; suffered my first lightning-related equipment failure (lost three power bricks and learned my un-interruptable power supply is useless in the face of nature's wrath); endured the Southern summer humidity and heat sans air conditioning (thanks to the same lightning strike which blew out the furnace and A/C fan).

Thankfully, I'm feeling at about 90% this evening and the world seems like it's backed off attack mode for now. The weather has cooled off, giving us an opportunity to vent the house and store some cool air for the daytime. The repair company has provided us with a cooling unit to keep the living room livable. Had a surprisingly good dinner at one of the local sushi/Japanese grillhouses... the chefs added some new, amusingly themed rolls: the 'Emo Roll' colored red-and-black with spicy Cajun seasoning, nori, rice, tuna, and crabstick; the 'Mini-Spider Roll', an easier to eat abbreviated version of the traditional Spider Roll, omitting bean sprouts and the whole soft-shell crab; and the 'T.J. Roll' with tempura shrimp rolled in rice and topped with avocado and unagi with unagi sauce.

This workweek doesn't look too beastly, and Vee is going to be back in town working. We'll probably do lunch tomorrow, and definitely catch up this weekend... someone has to show her what's gone on downtown.

Off to bed, the grind starts time now.

u luv mah harblz. you do. (+300 days)

2007-09-01T17:17:00.000-04:00

Still nothing really significant to report today.

After a long break, I get to enjoy a long weekend, but I'll be paying for it when it's over: nearly every day of the four-day workweek has something major going on, which I am responsible for. And this is including the work I've taken home with me, which sits in front of my monitor and glowers evilly at me even as I try to ignore it today by grinding in WoW.

Got plans to go somewhere on vacation; Nagi is gonna be a MOH ("Maid of Honor"). For security purposes I won't broadcast anything on it in public, but I'm hoping there will be some fun things to write about when I get back.

a birth! (relax, not one of mine, smartass) (+254 days)

2007-07-15T14:03:00.001-04:00

One of Nagi's close friends delivered this morning! Welcome to the new baby girl, A.N.!!

closing out the fourth of july (+243 days)

2007-07-04T22:46:00.001-04:00

Maybe I'll catch Michael Bay's Transformers later this weekend; I just wasn't up for fighting the crowds today to get in.

Well, my grilling technique still needs lots of work. Today's experiment was with hardwood charcoal, which, true to the packaging, burned hotter than hell... I had to take out some of the charcoal briquettes I used. I'm amazed the hardwood didn't melt through the bottom of the heavy aluminum of my makeshift hibachi.

Still, I enjoyed a rare chance to relax on the back porch with my Nagi, light some sparklers, and trim up some of the oft-neglected bushes out back. Mosquito damage to my person was minimal thanks to my wise decision to go longsleeve (although the little bastards did wreak havoc on the undefended back of my neck and hands).

As I was lighting the sparklers, old memories of summers in Japan came back, and I found myself wondering exactly where my cotton yukata was, and how I used to always think that the sounds of cicadas heralded summer.

The korean ribs charred up pretty well, but I did finish them up in the oven. I'm developing strategies to more efficiently cook the meat separately from the rib portions, and adjusting the amount of charcoal I use. I'll just need to practice with the hardwood charcoal all summer. One day, I too will be able to grill up yakitori in a crude imitation of the pros at my fave restaurant.

Even though there was a lot going on all over the country, and people were in places like D.C. catching the fireworks show in the nation's capital, I would have rather been nowhere else than right here with my Pixie Princess.

happy 4th! (+243 days)

2007-07-04T08:29:00.001-04:00

Wasn't able to make it to Cali for the 4th of July celebration this year, and decided to skip AX in Long Beach, too. Not sure what I'm going to do in August, but that's the soonest I can see getting some vacation time.

Even though this is one of the third and last major pushes at work to finish up our old 'to-do' list from the beginning of the year, it's a fight for inches every step of the way. This midweek break is great, and one of the big bosses took a vacation which eliminates the upward push to his desk, but the work at my level is relentless and piled up at the end of the day yesterday.

Even though I get to relax today, I'm pretty much going to be home and getting ready for bed rather early so I can start plugging away again first thing tomorrow morning.

Still dreaming of traditionally wood-charcoal grilled yakitori at Shin-Sen-Gumi in Orange County, California... someday I'll be back.

For now, just planning the best way to grill up my own korean-style ribs and grinding away. My alts are almost averaging level 30, to include my Hordie hunter and my rogue.

long-time no post (+207 days)

2007-05-30T20:53:00.000-04:00

It's been a while, and a lot of work done, with more left to do.

Sigh.

Still working for the same crappy employer, with no end in sight.

Had both sets of 'rents over for the Memorial Day weekend; we're all agreed that the next congregation should happen in San Diego!

Must get settled for the evening and back to the grind in less than eight hours.

two-hundred days (+200 days)

2007-05-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

Still here. Still stuck. Still no way out but forward.

/charge

trial week (+165 days)

2007-04-18T21:53:00.000-04:00

Going into the dead center of "Hell Week Part Deux" at work. Five days, five trials and no end in sight. Hellooooo sixteen-hour workdays and unpaid overtime.

If I wanted to work this much, I would have stayed corporate.

Much love to Tsunami for upping her exercise. I've been putting in too much unavoidable desk-time to keep up at work, and I'm turning into a slug. I am turning into a girl as I type this, but I swear my ass is getting fat (and my Nagi knows how much I value keeping in shape). Last time I hit a scale I topped out at 137 pounds (which is an all-time high for me).

Can't wait until we get onto the downhill slope of the workload... or even out of my current employment gig. Then I can finally start exercising regularly again and get back into shape.

home appliances (+155 days)

2007-04-08T07:49:00.000-04:00

Considering that it'll be another year before Nagi & I get to move on to greener pastures, I figured I'd go ahead and shell out for a new washer and dryer set for the house.

Yep, it's true: Nagi and I have bought home appliances together. Might as well change her last name now, heh-heh.

Nothing fancy, just something inexpensive and fully-functional, instead of the old, failing set that came with the house. It'll help improve the final sale price of her house, and in the meantime, I can wash clothes without worrying about those special "tricks" that one needs to use with old, temperamental equipment.

Now the only thing I need to worry about is figuring out how to clean up all the junk that came with me. I'm thinking of renting out a storage unit not only to hold all the stuff that I have here, but also to hold some of the stuff I have in storage on the West Coast. The endstate I want to reach is to leave only a basic presence in California, which will lighten-up any packing I need to do when I visit San Diego, and to allow my parents to reclaim some of their floorspace.

up for air (+140 days)

2007-03-24T08:09:00.000-04:00

Work sucks about as much as I'd expected. We've finished half of the list of thing we need to do, but the bosses at the overseas office still aren't happy with even that Herculean effort. It's taken six weeks to get to 50% completion, but they want the other 50% done in three weeks. It's must be nice to be able to dictate without regard for reality.

Anyway, enough said about deadlines.

Recently had a celebration here in town, a big deal for the St. Patrick's Day observation with a parade, retailing of kitsch, and rampant alcohol consumption. Although I'm getting too old for such things, I went out on the town to see what the hubbub was about. Earlier in the morning, Nagi and I watched the parade on TV, then she went off to a birthday party for a coworker's little one, and I went out to explore the festivities.

Not much really went on, just the usual drunken revelry, scantily dressed women, drum-and-bagpipe groups, drunken party fouls, and cheap street food stalls. I spent most of my money on booze, street food, the obligatory souvenir mug, and an unsuccessful attempt on the Rock-Climbing Wall attraction at a try for $50 clipped at the top of the route. I finished off the evening at Sushi Zen, where I got to watch a free show with dinner as two women got into a fistfight. I also had two young whippersnappers address me as "Sir" for the first time... a telling event as I have recently turned 30.

Anyway, I also shot my old college buddy Mike a birthday greeting; it's easy to remember your friends' birthday when it's on a major holiday! =)

Not much going on this weekend: the bamboo festival at the Bamboo Farm & Coastal Gardens, a trip of Nagi's stables, a downtown shopping excursion to American Apparel, and maybe a matinee of the movie 300. I'd also like to pop into the local comic shop and see if they've got some figurines in. I recently picked up the Burst Angel and Samurai 7 DVD sets at Best Buy, so I've got plenty of life to live over the rest of the month. Hope I have time to rest; the 45 minute commute into work is starting to wear me out.

post b'day wrap up (+120 days)

2007-03-04T20:19:00.000-05:00

Back now, and settling in for the evening. The weekend was quite fun, with large quantities of food and drink had by all.

Friday was a forced push to get to Orlando by midnight, but we arrived on time and were settled into our room at the Royal Plaza within minutes. This, despite the heavy sheets of rain washing over the interstate at points.

Our room at the RP came with two comfortable, properly-sheeted double-beds, and a large Roman tub in the bathroom. After a cursory examination of the room and the local area guides, I enjoyed the kind of decadent shower you can only justify on vacation in a hotel room: one where you're not paying for the endless hot water afforded by the hotel tanks. The tub was easily large enough for three people to sit down in up to their necks, and I was looking forward to a good long soak after tomorrow's events.

Afterwards, Nagi and I winked out for what was left of the night.

I managed to sleep in to an indulgent (for me) 9 AM. on Saturday morning, and after navigating to the back gate of Epcot, we met up with V and K and entered the park through the Disney Boardwalk "Rear Gate". The weather was far from the 89 degrees we were expecting; rather, it was cool, windy and overcast. The first stop was England, since it was right in front of us; but many parts of the park were under renovation, to include the kitchens (but not the bar) of the Rose and Crown. Unfazed, we took a roundabout route through the park, past Mexico and China, aiming for Japan, where we had lunch in the lounge of Mitsukoshi teppanyaki and tempura Restaurant, at a corner window table overlooking the lake. Opening with a sparkling-sake-and-plum-wine cocktail and a sake-rita, I enjoyed hot sake with my reasonably good tempura set: tempura shrimp, tempura chicken skewers & tempura veggies, supplemented with an order of decent chicken kara-age, and a dessert of green tea ice cream and ginger ice cream.

After bidding farewell to our server, Maki, we went downstairs to shop in the depaato. I only noticed a few new items from my last visit in the store, notably some Play Arts action figures of FF7AC Tifa, KH2 Schoolgirl Kairi and FF7AC Cloud + Fenris. Else where in the store, I spied some Australian Bush Hat-inspired headwear with Japanese-style prints on them; Nagi mentioned that the Japanese students attending SCAD were sporting them. Of course, by the time it gets here to the Coastal South, I'm sure it's already on the way out - or already out of style - in Japan. Further into the store, Nagi and I found some adorably kawaii diningware which reminded us of Tsunami: bunny chopstick rests, bunny plates, bunny bowls, all very cute. Then, we got to my favorite spot, the sake bar in the back of the store. After trying an Ozeki brand nigorizake unfiltered sake (nice and milky, sweet, but characteristically dry, as most Ozeki labels are), I finished with a plum wine and some strawberry Pocky courtesy of Nagi. I left with a bottle of premium-quality Gekkeikan daiginjyo as a gift for my favorite local sushi joint in Savannah, as well as two bottles of pink nigorizake; according to the label, the koji mold used in its manufacture was bioengineered to be pink, so no dye needed. All told, $140.00 just on top-shelf sake.

Dropping off my booze stash in the Honda, we went back into the park for a leisurely rampage around the world. Unlike previous visits, we were a little behind the usual schedule so I had to pass on the beers of Germany, Canada, and Mexico since beer required time to sort through. The weather was definitely overcast by midafternoon and we were fortunate enough only to be hit with light sprinkles and not full-on rain. Nagi did need to buy a sweater from the gift shop due to the cold, but the sweater was cute and she wears it around the house.

Around 4PM, I stopped at the Fish n' Chips stand in England on the second time through for a snack and a draught of Harp. While we ate, our fries went to a cute mallard duck that was camped out by our table waiting for scraps.

The pavilion in Italy would have to wait for the next visit and better weather. Before I knew it, it was time for dinner at the white-linen Les Chefs de France, where we met up with V & K.

From Frommer's Guide:

Focusing on nouvelle cuisine, Les Chefs de France is one of the most expensive restaurants at Epcot, but not without good reason. An eye-catching, domed-glass exterior hides an Art Nouveau interior, filled with candelabras and glass-and-brass partitions, that offers an intimate setting.

After a preliminary wait to be seated, we were greeted by our waiter, who started us off with drinks. Being in a celebratory mood, I ordered a Kir au Cassis wine aperitif (white wine and cassis/blackcurrant syrup) and nibbled on a selection of bread. We were also served a small portion of a tomato-based soup to open up our palettes. Nagi and I had the Jonah crab ravioli (with celery root and domestic caviar, avocado and cardamom mousse, and a creamy paprika vinagrette), V a glass of white wine, and K a plate of escargot. In due time, our meals arrived: K had some exquisitely prepared seared scallops with mashed potatoes, porcini mushrooms, dried Lomo pork and sauced with a balsamic fig reduction. V, having had a large lunch, was content with a large bowl of butternut squash and bacon soup. Nagi savored her Venison Tenderloin medallions stuffed with mushroom, savoy cabbage, foie gras confit, and served with an apple-and-onion marmalade, a sweet and sour sauce and a cranberry sauce with Banyuls vinegar. I settled on the Muscovy Duck leg confit "Parmentier" roasted with verjus du Perigord sauce & pickled grape, and pan seared foie gras served on a layer of mashed potatoes. Not familiar with the French varieties, I relied heavily on our waiter's recommendations, which were quite good. I am no expert, I just know what I like. As the evening came into its fullness, Nagi and I finished with a dessert of fudge-filled chocolate cake, a dessert sampler that featured rice pudding (topped with a caramelized sugar shell), a tiny creme brulee, a small chocolate mini-cake, a chocolate-covered pear, apple tart, a fruit sorbet or ice cream, and a tasty French dessert wine.

Sated, we parted ways, with V & K headed back home to rest, and Nagi and I to walk off dinner at Downtown Disney. We did a little window shopping at Virgin Megastore, and sat on the display bikes at the Harley-Davidson shop. Walking through Pleasure Island, I showed Nagi where the new Raglan Road Irish Pub was; as we were quite full, I did not drag her in there for more food and beer. We also passed a few discos, the most popular one of course, being the 70s/80s disco. Looking back, it would have been a good idea to sit in the Explorer's Club for some coffee and snacks, I like how the place s decorated like a 1930's-era African hunting lodge. After finishing our window shopping loop, we got back into the Honda for the ride back.

After returning to the hotel room, I cranked up the tub and soaked for an hour or so, nearly falling asleep several times in the bath; can't really beat the way the body relaxes in gallons of hot water. A little time settling down, and it was off to dreamland.

The next day, we packed up, explored the Crossroads retail area near the hotel, grabbed some lunch at McDonald's and headed back out on the road for the trip home.

In all, a relaxing weekend, and one long overdue. One of these trips, I may actually get to spend more than a day or so at the resort, and I'll be able to rampage around the Magic Kingdom!

one-hundred days (+100 days)

2007-02-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

A hundred days still in and it still sucks.

Looks like it's just gonna get worse from here on in. Someone's talking about putting us on 7-day shifts. Only thing is, I'm the only one here, so I'll be on every day of every week.

Gotta look at what I still have, though. It's the only way to deal with it. The alternative is for me to be back out in the shitstorm.

I get to go home eventually and have a couple of hours a night with Nagi.
I get to sleep in my own bed.
I get to shower in a real shower.
I get to eat real food on the weekends.
I'm not lugging around 70 pounds of crap every day.
I get to enjoy the creature comforts of my ride.

So even though work sucks, I still have things that I can enjoy. It'll just take me a while to get used to the increasing levels of suck at work. My choice is either fight through to freedom on the other side, or not.

new rhythm (+91 days)

2007-02-03T19:30:00.000-05:00

I'm settling into the new rhythm at work. It looks like I'm stuck here for the next 450 days or so; at this point, there's no chance of me getting out any sooner. That's a long time to waste. At least I'm still stateside and not at the overseas office; it sounds like that office is pretty barren, with few amenities.

Looks like I get to plan out my finances for the next 15 months, and lament all the things that I don't get to do this year because of my new indentured servitude.

The thing that kills me is that, if I am going to be required to work until 2010, I'd like to be paid more. Three barriers are preventing that at this point:

1) Getting promoted is so mathematically (by promotion point scale) and logistically (by total hours available in the week) difficult at this point as to be effectively impossible;

2) Because of the nature of my contract conditions, I can't even apply to the management side of the house (I am required to stay exactly where I am, doing exactly what I'm doing), and

3) I'm not eligible for a seniority raise until November 2008, and I don't plan to stay that long.

So basically, I'm losing out on $12,000 over 2007 (which is what I would be getting paid on the management track, which I am totally eligible for except that I am not allowed to by contract). All I'm doing now is scrambling for cover, and taking whatever kindnesses I can from this.

Still, it is awesome to be able to go home at the end of the day and sleep in my own bed. I just have to remember how bad it could be and do what I can with what I have.

miserable (+75 days)

2007-01-17T22:30:00.000-05:00

I am currently suffering from a persistent and very inconvenient allergy attack, due to the weather and the huge volume of pollen generated by all of the damn vegetation in this state. It's making my overall existence pretty miserable. Adding to the pain, I'm still stuck at the same job, overworked and with no help in the office, doing the job of eight people. At full strength and with between 60 - 96 man-hours of work available, we were backlogged. Even if it were possible for me to work 12 - 16 straight hours a day, I'd never be able to get everything done that needed to be done on a daily basis, especially since the window of most effectiveness (between 10 Am and 3 PM) can only be dedicated to one task at a time.

Life is sucking right now. At least I got to spend some time at home with Nagiko, even though I unintentionally conked out for two hours in a nap. I really only get four hours a day possible with her, and even hour of sleep, though needed, is also resented. At least I'm still here to be able to go home.

Still, fuck this place. FTA. I've been here 75 days longer than I need to be here, entirely without my consent.

Go to OldAmericanCentury.COM. Smile cynically. And fear the future.

t-minus xxxxx and counting (+70 days)

2007-01-12T07:24:00.000-05:00

Today begins the seventieth day of my life as a conscript.

The war in Iraq continues and soldiers continue to rotate in and out of the fight. I wonder how many of them realize that they are being held hostage by their own boss?

I still lament the fact that days, weeks, months of my life will be wasted by people who don't care about me.

I have heard it said that the oath to 'give one's life to serve one's country' can also mean that you sacrifice your life in increments (as opposed to dying). That is what is being done now, and because of my experiences, I understand it intimately. So I will be able to say with conviction that I sacrificed six years of my life in service.

I also have a better understanding of what living means; it is being able to be there for people who love you. The sad thing is that it is hard to make it in this world now without sacrificing time with your loved ones, even if you're a civilian.

We spend eight to sixteen hours a day at work or traveling to & from work, earning money to pay for basic necessities. If you spend all your money on what you're "supposed" to be spending money on, you have pretty much nothing left to spend on actually living (as opposed to life-sustaining activities like eating or sleeping, or paying insurance premiums and making IRA contributions).

Unlike generations before us, our society is now designed to sell us the meaning of life, to sell us inspiration, to sell us purpose. Finding it on your own, outside of the retail machine, still costs money: the temple tour of Japan, the countryside vacation in Italy, the volunteer trip to Costa Rica.

I find myself fortunate to have been able to look all over the world for my inspiration. Now if I could only get my life back, I 'd be able to start following my newfound purpose.

kinetic (+64 days)

2007-01-06T17:12:00.000-05:00

The first few days of the new year are full of kinetic energy: new leadership in the House of Representatives, new military leaders in Iraq. New energy moves to replace old, positive in flux with negative, as new soldiers prepare to go (or are already in) Iraq and Afghanistan to take up the duties of those who have been there for over a year. There are many faces in this exchange which are familiar to me, more than there should be.

Also, the union of energy, as the wedding plans of a family friend continue on into the next month, and many people that I know have found love to warm their souls as winter gives way to spring.

My personal energy is also in flux as I rebalance the negative flare which struck me last month.

Currently, I've had a little time to read again, so to exercise my cognitive and analytical skills, I've cracked open "Filipino American Lives" by Yen Le Espiritu. Although the book is about 11 years old, it is useful to review academic analysis of that time period in order to properly orient more contemporary analysis.

My thought-stream is leading me to the idea that I am highly atypical, and that I am quite removed from the ethnic cultural core of the Philippine Islands, as well as that of the newly developed Filipino-American cultural core (as fractitious and regionalized as that is). My cultural anchors are wide-ranging, from the levee-side suburbs of New Orleans to the side-streets of Tokyo, Seoul, San Francisco and many smaller attached cities. As such, I am at home in no culture other than my own self-invented conglomeration of traditions, cuisine, ethics, values and beliefs. While some might pity me not having a "home culture", I rather enjoy the freedom to follow a "culture" which fits me.

As much as the Filipino culture touts its own positives, it also contains a large number of negatives which are built into it and perpetuated by it, the least of which is an identity crisis of its own which is exacerbated by its own Philippine-regional rivalries. Frankly, I have my own life to live and I don't have time for the group to decide what it means to be not only Filipino, but also to be Filipino-American. If anything can be said at this point (taking into account the assertion by Filipino scholars that Filipinos have an authentic indigenous culture), it is that Filipino culture, and thus Filipino-American culture, is decided by each Filipino individually or as a regional group. The only common threads and artifacts which manage to survive the chaos are the dances, the ethnic costumes, the cuisine and the official language of Tagalog. Even then, all of it is a conglomeration of cultural influences from the Asians, the Spanish and the Americans.

So to sum, my personal culture is just as valid a representation as any other; and in this age of global transparency, does it really matter any more?

happy new year (+59 days)

2007-01-01T00:46:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year to all!

There is too much to be said right now, so I'll just enjoy the moment and let hope run unrestrained. =) I'll be up late celebrating New Year's on the West Coast, too.

the breath of the new year (+56 days)

2006-12-29T08:04:00.000-05:00

I can feel it in the world, the coming of a new year... as with all years, it has the smells of war and death: smoke and fire and burning flesh and coppery blood. So too, does it carry the smell of spring and new life.

2006 for me was a year of things falling apart, the year of chaos rising and entropy increasing, and the intense desire and striving to hold the center, accompanied by the emotional, mental and physical effort needed to keep things together.

Even now, I can feel a cloud of disorder hovering overhead, threatening to break order and throw all into fire. All I can do right now is clutch my shield tighter, set my head down and continue to pull on the yoke around my neck.

burnt out again (+48 days)

2006-12-21T19:08:00.000-05:00

The three-week crush of SRC is over, finally, but I'm pretty burnt out. After early morning starts, late & abbreviated lunches, and late closings, I'm done with holding this beast down by myself. All I've got left is to take a fitness test tomorrow and survive the Power-Tripping-Middle-Manager for a day and I get to enjoy a nice week-long break for the Christmas season.

As needed as that vacation will be, though, there is the looming approach of 2007; I'm getting that oncoming train feeling again. And I find myself in the ironic position of needing the days to move faster but fearing their coming: The sooner January comes, the sooner I can figure out if I can move to a different section at the job; however, by moving to that new section, I am risking the chance that I will get stuck -again- and have to stay here until Summer of 2009 (and still have to go to Iraq) instead of the previously extended date of Spring of 2008. So you can see how motivated I am about life.

Not just two, but three years of my life wasted by the political maneuvering of the elite to add to their wealth and power. Years that I could be spending returning to civilian life, earning workplace experience to apply to a job that I actually am inspired by, going back to school to improve my mind, settling into a home of my own and working on the next stage of my life.

holiday season (+46 days)

2006-12-19T18:55:00.000-05:00

December is two-thirds done and I can't wait for it to be over soon enough. I don't attach much significance to the holiday season, other than having time off work to spend with whomever is nearby.

Due to my current situation, I am unable to go home to visit the parents, nor am I able to visit friends long unvisited: my hero Tsunami, the B siblings, Em-bear, Vee, Timmah, the dispersed former-JCCers and numerous others... had I too much expectation from this time of year, I would have been disappointed for the last few years.

Right now, I'm just looking forward to closing-out the month, getting back to a zero-balance on my credit card for the New Year, and figuring out what January holds for me.

Every month that passes is another month of my life wasted, yet another month closer to determining my final fate at my job. I have reached new levels of dissatisfaction with working life, which will no doubt translate over to my civilian working-life for a few years... I'm gonna be that asshole at work that talks back to stupid bosses and refuses even the appearance of being taken advantage-of. I am looking forward to being fired from a couple of jobs as bully-bosses who are used to walking all over underlings receive an uncensored stream of profanity from me.

almost halfway through (+41 days)

2006-12-14T19:33:00.000-05:00

December does seem to be flying by for me; full 8 - 9 hour days go quickly.

Can't say whether that's a good thing or not.

Slowly getting back into WoW, as the approach of Burning Crusade is pushing me to level my Shadow Priest to 60, and pick a new character to be my Alliance main. The coming of the Burning Crusade, though, also brings with it a strong possibility that I may decide to go all the way with a Blood Elf main, even if it means moving to another server or picking up a second Silverhand account.

I also noticed that, in the Burning Crusade trailer, that the Blood Elves are suspiciously Korean-looking. As far as I'm concerned, that's juuuuust fine with me. /drool

we are live again (+37 days)

2006-12-10T16:52:00.000-05:00

The Alienware is back up and online at the new base of operations. Being what it is, in combination with the plasma and the other technogoodies, it has invaded the living room with no regard for design or order; it sort-of organically embedded itself into the living room.

Resistance is futile.

After an all-day orgy of WoW 2.02 and obsessing over the new features and the Burning Crusade teasers, I'm ready to return to Ivalice and get grinding with Fran, Ashe, and Penelo.

Also broke in the plasma on Thursday night with a screening of Advent Children. I'm expecting Christmas cards this month from San Francisco, Sacramento (edit: and Davis *grin*), and Seattle. Sadly, I don't do Christmas cards (holiday deadlines are so annoying), so I probably won't be sending any out.

leave your mind behind (+33 days)

2006-12-06T21:00:00.000-05:00

Been relegated to another week of mindless tasks. At least the week will seem to go by faster. Just counting the days (up, not down).

second weekend (+30 days)

2006-12-03T20:50:00.000-05:00

Plus thirty days and counting.

Enjoying the second weekend of living with Nagi. We just got the entertainment center put together: 42" plasma, PS2 hooked up to 5.1 system, Alienware powered (but not live), DVD-player running through VCR, VCR hooked into my old 28" TV. With some additional work, we'll be able to get the Alienware online & wired for sound, and get the DVD player S-Video-cabled into the plasma as well.

Only things which aren't working are my Vaio (HDD finally went kaput after the CD-burner/DVD player died; gonna need to send that into Sony for repairs); and my HP iPod. Although the new video iPod is pretty schmansy, its battery life is not as good as the LCD-only iPod.

So I'm almost back to full functionality. And domestic life is surprisingly pleasant: the dobie likes me, the good kitty is cool with me, and the bad kitty isn't openly hostile anymore. The puppy, as always, craves attention. And I'm looking forward to the coming months as Nagi and I plan our exit strategy. Although I'm not mobile right now, we are both looking at our next move. We are still adjusting the added weight of my incorporation into the household, and are still determining the best way to utilize our newly combined powers.

flea-ridden (+25 days)

2006-11-28T21:08:00.000-05:00

Upon inspecting the resident "crazy old man" housecat, I have discovered that in addition to four critters, I can also count amongst my roommates potentially several thousand bloodsucking fleas. Although some allowances are expected for rural Georgia, I am now keenly aware of why I am not a pet owner. Gonna have to get all my clothes flea-dipped before visiting home, and especially before visiting Tsunami. I may shave my head in the spring to stave off the inevitable infestation of head lice; better look into getting my Lyme disease vaccine, too. =) Some days, I hate being a Biological Sciences baccalaureate... ignorance is truly bliss.

double dragon (+23 days)

2006-11-26T21:21:00.000-05:00

Today marks a significant day, as Tora's Plianan Horde shares a base with the Pixie Princess and her Critter Swarm.

Having shoe-horned my pile o' crap into Nagiko's domain, we now combine our powers as roomies. Now, our challenges are coordinating that delicate dance known as sharing (hot water, fridge and bills), with my additional challenge of an hour-long commute (hello, 4 AM alarm and 9 PM bedtime!).

Still, we are looking forward to the coming months as a cooperative exercise in space management, interior design and household management.

No doubt, Tsunami is recalling the chaos when Tora moved out of his apartment into hers and shaking her head with pity for Nagiko.

Ugh, back to work in a few short hours.

fight for the future (+18 days)

2006-11-21T02:37:00.000-05:00

Veterans Against the Iraq War: Amazingly, some of us have managed to resist the relentless brainwashing which is ever-present in the Machine.
Military Families Speak Out: Many of our families are not fooled by the sugar-coating of patriotism that the government likes to coat the bullshit in. And they refuse to succumb to the alarmist tactics of fear as well.
Stop The Backdoor Draft: Sign a petition in protest of the way that the government is paying for its mistakes with the lives of fathers, mothers, wives, husbands, brothers and sisters.
Lies of the Administration: Or, Why Johnny's Not Coming Home, Johnny Jr.
Iraq Veterans Against the War: More of my brothers and sisters who are tired of the bullshit.

up late (+18 days)

2006-11-21T02:36:00.000-05:00

I'm on vacation for the first time in a while. Being asked to work irregular 12 to 16 hour days for the same payrate is exhausting and motivation-draining.

Now that I have a chance to relax and poke my head up above-water, I am noticing all sorts of madness in the larger world.

There is the infamous NY democratic congressman who, on principle, calls for a nationwide draft to be reinstated. While publicly unpopular, I do acknowledge his point: if we are being called to go to war for a national emergency, then everyone in the United States must be called upon to bear the burden of the enlisted soldier, not just the poor and minorities drawn in by large signing bonuses and slick ads. Being on the inside, I see that poor, rural blacks and Hispanics (and a significant representation of whites) are the ones doing the heavy-lifting in the ranks of the enlisted. In the Army, it's the Privates and Specialists, and the Corporals and junior-Sergeants in charge of them who have hands-on doing the carrying, the dragging, the guarding, the overwatching, the gunning, the driving and ofttimes the dying. And completed college degrees are rare among them because some are just out of high school, drawn by the steady pay and promises of marketable civilian skills. While the Army often parades its officers killed in action, there are simply more enlisted than officers.

My only rebuttal to the NY congressman is that a nationwide draft would not be as effective as he had hoped in preventing the nation from unwisely going to war. Firstly, those with money, education and privilege are connected & smart enough to find a way out of or around such a draft. Second, never underestimate the willingness of the rich and Republican to sacrifice other people's children, even their own children, to protect their pocketbooks; they got rich precisely because they're ruthless and willing to exploit others. Third, because of the nature of modern America, such a draft would provide a less-than-motivated force... and I know. Also, having been in a culture (South Korea) with a long-standing mandatory service obligation of many decades, it really does affect the culture in ways both positive and negative. Unfortunately, the nature of the Army does not allow for the socially-and culturally-enriching aspects of American society... the Army is all about promoting Western, white Anglo-Saxon values, outlook and religion. A look at the officer-leaders in the Army reveals white men in power, and the nonwhite leaders are highly whitewashed so as to be accepted by the good ol' boys in charge of the country club.

Lots of things bounce through the brain when one is up late.

I also lament that circumstances were not such that I was happier with military service. Being enlisted in general sucks because one is often subject to the whims of petty tyrants. Being an Army officer means you are constantly moving, subject to the needs of the service. Army bases are stuck in the crappiest places ever, with some exceptions. Being enlisted in the Air Force sucks because promotion is pretty much frozen; and being an Air Force officer means being brainwashed into accepting and promoting a Western religion. Being a Naval officer doesn't appear to be satisfying either.

All this and Thanksgiving in a couple of days. Sales are scattered on both sides of the holiday, so the cult of consumerism is alive and well. I will be celebrating a nontraditional Thanksgiving with my girl on Thursday; we've already talked about how our year will have to be redefined every day, since we both come from differing cultural frameworks. I am looking forward to seeing what new traditions we'll forge and which ones we'll retain.

Just saw the new "World of Warcraft/Office Space" ad a moment ago. This pretty much means that World of Warcraft has jumped the shark; they've paired a cult favorite with their product to try to garner mainstream customers. I wonder how much the game will suffer over 2007...

Well, I guess I better either get some rest or turn FF12 back on. Maybe I'll just snooze for a couple and then get back into Ivalice.

I miss being able to rant like this late at night. =)

oil rub (+13 days)

2006-11-18T12:14:00.000-05:00

OK, so by now, I'm dead certain that teenage boys and frat boys nationwide are secretly watching not "Farmyard Sluts" or "Interracial Street Hookers"... they watch those openly in front of their family and peers. No, they are instead watching reruns of Food Network's "Everyday Italian" starring Giada De Laurentiis.

Although she is 100% not intending to, this is one of the most erotic cooking shows EVER!!!

I just finished watching her massage oil and an Herb de Provence rub onto a turkey, and I had to take a cold shower. For goodness sake, man, her small hands, glistening with olive oil and herbs were skillfully massaging the cold flesh of a 14-pound turkey, running her palms over the bumpy, milk-colored translucent skin, inserting her fingers into the neck cavity, and the first thing that popped into my head was "I am jealous of that turkey carcass." Pathetic.

Not only is she petite, possessed of a classically beautiful Italian face, skilled at cooking and pleasing of voice, but she's got the innate style that all Italians have. Occasionally she will wear a curve-hugging low-cut top, and when the camera zooms into the latest task at hand, my eyes are instantly drawn to the sway of her modest-yet-intensely-appealing bosom under the blouse. Again, pathetic. But I remain unapologetic.

Frankly, I am glad that Everyday Italian is available on DVD at Target. Not only do I improve my culinary knowledge and skill by watching them, I am also treated to the pleasure of watching her do her thing on the telly. In general, it is an honest privilege to watch a woman cook; as a man, it evokes to me a sense of comfort and safety which are all to rare in today's danger-fraught world. The best part of it is that such an activity does not place a societal-limitation on the woman... any woman (and any man for that matter) can learn to cook: housewife, career-woman, teacher, soldier, stripper, politician. Cooking is a skill which is the heritage of all people.

only five percent (+13 days)

2006-11-18T10:23:00.000-05:00

My favorite thing to hear Republicans say is that "Iraq is not Vietnam! We've haven't even lost five percent of the casualties of Vietnam!"

I'm sure the families of the 3,000 dead servicemembers feel honored to be part of that five percent. Does that mean that the Republicans want 3,000 X 20 = 60,000 more families, children and spouses to lose people all for the mistake of Iraq?

Thank you GOP for being willing to kill just as many Americans as Al-Qaeda. I can't wait until you retake the House, Senate and Presidency! My children can die for your wallet! Yeah!

good taste must die (+11 days)

2006-11-16T20:32:00.000-05:00

So I gave into my base impulses and rented "John Tucker Must Die" from an automated DVD-rental kiosk in my local grocer.

It's pretty hard to resist four-great looking women in one movie, especially when one of them is the girl-kissing Sophia Bush and the other is Ashanti.

I must be getting soft in the head, because I actually laughed at a lot of the movie. There were some parts that I simply had to fastforward through or vomit, but overall I didn't hate the movie. Then again, one can tolerate a lot when the movie is full of eye-candy.

After I return my rental to the RentalBot, I'll probably check out "Accepted" next.

Gotta hit the sack now. I have to be at work by quarter to six AM, just so we can start running at six-thirty. My job is once again turning stupidity up to eleven.

hell no he won't go (+10 days)

2006-11-15T20:52:00.000-05:00

A US Army officer publicly protests the war in Iraq by refusing to go.

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20060626/brecherwebvideo

As an insider, I know that he will most likely be made an example of and sent to prison for years, possibly a decade. The military has enough clout and the backing of the government-accomodating UCMJ to lock him up. But his courage and conviction are admirable. Even knowing that he will end up in a military prison, he still maintains his stand. And his stand is backed up by a great deal of research, as well as the public statements of other foreign governments. Nevertheless, he will not be able to avoid confinement; but he will go with my admiration.

The mudslinging and racism will come out soon, perpetuated by the white christian neoconservatives. Also wait for the attacks from the neocon media outlet on Fox news.

monday again (+9 days)

2006-11-14T05:54:00.000-05:00

It's been nine days since I was supposed to be a civilian. It breaks me every single day.

I'm sure the people in charge were hoping that a four-day weekend would help stabilize me and bring me back into the fold. It has not. I'm on time-owed now, and I'm balanced enough to realize it. Nine more days that are being stolen from me; I have only one life and it is being sucked out of me.

What kind of motivation to excel is that? I'm a conscript. All I do is countdown days, hours, minutes in my head and scratch marks on the wall of my cell.

I'm not smart enough, though, to do anything but go back to work when they tell me to. Life is hard when you're dumb.

veteran's day (+5 days)

2006-11-10T20:47:00.000-05:00

As I mused once before during OIF III, the idea that I am a veteran takes some getting used to. Only old guys were vets. I'm not far from being old myself, but once upon a time, I was twenty-eight years old and at war.

Saw a piece on CNN this morning about Veteran's Day. The CNN reporter was following a young soldier, 23 years old, who was deployed to Ramadi, in the days leading up to a Veteran's Day which he would be celebrating in Iraq. Anyone who's been to war knows that holidays in a combat zone are merely days on a calendar, celebrated briefly in-between combat ops. The focus of the piece was on how this young soldier felt about Veteran's Day, being a veteran himself on his second deployment. He died this month in the dirt of Ramadi, victim of an IED.

Tomorrow I will be busy recuperating from 80-hour weeks and packing up to move out of my place, but since tomorrow is a day set aside for me and everyone who's been to war, I will pause to celebrate as I did in Iraq: briefly and sincerely, and then move on with the business at hand. Vets know that only civilians can spend four days doing nothing. For us, it's stocking up on R&R time before the drought of deployment, or whittling down the time owed to other things neglected: family, friends, hobbies, studies, chores, housekeeping, moving. The debt owed to family and friends never really reaches a zero-balance; people just cope with the absence.

murderer's mantra (+2 days)

2006-11-07T22:00:00.000-05:00

"Death, guide my weapon-hand true that I be not under the shadow of thy scythe."